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“Fucking hell.” He wraps his arms tightly around me, yelling, “Stop!”
I let my scream loose.
I open my mouth and just let it all out.
Johnathon’s arms go even tighter around me and he tries to cover my mouth with one of his hands. All the while, he’s yelling words at me. Words I don’t care to figure out. All I care about is letting all my feelings loose. Letting the scream, that I think might never end, out.
I have no idea how long this goes on.
When I finally reach the end of my scream, I’m breathless. My lungs cry out for air and I feel their pain just as keenly as I feel the pain in my heart.
“What in the actual fuck was that?” Johnathon demands as he lets me go.
“Do you still love me?” I find it odd that I’m looking at the man I’ve loved for years, yet it’s as if I’m looking at someone I don’t even know.
He clenches his jaw. “You didn’t answer my question. What’s going on?”
“My question is the more important one right now. Do you still love me?”
“Why?”
“Oh my God, Johnathon!” I yell. “Just answer my question.”
He stares at me like I’m asking him to give me the world when that’s the last thing he wants to give me. “I do still love you,” he says too carefully for my liking.
“But?”
He blows out a long, harsh breath. “Fuck. But things have changed.”
“What things?”
“I don’t know about marriage. I’m not sure I’m ready for it.”
The words no bride-to-be wants to hear three months out from their wedding.
My head spins.
My eyes swim with dots.
“You don’t want to get married period? Or you don’t want to get married to me?”
“I think I should move out for a while and get my head together.”
Why can’t men just fucking answer a question?
“Do you want to marry me? It’s a yes or a no.”
“I don’t know.”
I’m done.
I swear I’m done.
No, you’re not, Kristen.
Think about this for a moment.
Think about everything you’ll give up if you’re done.
