AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Only if you also tell me something you want,” she says and I’m almost sure she’s trying to delay answering me. She’s deflecting in the way she has a few times tonight when I’ve asked her something she didn’t appear comfortable talking about.
“Deal.”
She diverts her gaze from mine and does more of that dress smoothing I’ve worked out is a nervous habit.
“You can just tell me what you want to eat for breakfast tomorrow if that’s all you want to share,” I say.
She looks up at me and takes a deep breath before saying, “I want to help people. I don’t know how yet, but I want to help women feel better about themselves.” Her cheeks turn pink again. This time I know it’s not because she’s attracted to me, but because she’s just shared something intimate and close to her heart that she possibly hasn’t said out loud to many other people.
“In a mental health capacity?”
“Yes.” She stops talking and I see the hesitation in her eyes when she continues. “I volunteered with a charity my mother works with a couple of years ago and met a woman who had been a successful accountant before losing her husband to cancer. Her life spiraled and she and her children ended up homeless. The charity helped her get back on her feet. Her boss wasn’t supportive at all when her husband died. He looked out for the men who worked for him, but he told her that she must have gotten herself into this situation because she wasn’t smart enough. Especially without her husband to help her.” She skims her hands over her dress. “I understood her pain over that. Over being made to feel less than because I’m a woman.” Her voice falls to a whisper when she adds, “I want to learn how to help women rise.”
Fuck. Me.
I was not expecting her to bare herself in this way.
“You’re not comfortable talking about this, are you?”
“The last person I talked to about this was my father. He listened for all of five minutes before telling me to stop with this nonsense. He made me feel silly for even thinking about it.”
“This nonsense? What does he expect you to do with your education?”
“Another great question. I think my parents pay for college in the hopes I’ll find a suitable candidate for marriage while there.”
“How’s that going for you?”
“My current candidate asked me to give him a blowjob at the ball and then got pissed at me when I said no. I’d say the quality of guys I’m finding in college isn’t high.”
“Classy guy.”
Her nod says she concurs. Then, with a questioning expression, she says, “Can I ask you a guy question?”
“Go for it.”
She brings one of her legs up to rest on the seat, really settling in. The gentle brush of her leg against mine as she does this sends desire racing through my body. I have to work hard not to take that desire and run with it.
“Do guys want sex anywhere and everywhere? My friend told me earlier that this is where I’m going wrong. That I should have sucked my boyfriend’s dick when he asked me to, and that I should be prepared to give it to him in public places whenever he wants.”
I want to tell her to ditch that friend but I gather my thoughts slowly instead of rushing in with that advice. “Guys want sex, period. Therightguy wants you along with the sex and won’t ever expect you to do something you don’t want to do. And thisgiving it to him? You don’t give your partner sex, Kristen. You share it with each other. And if you’re with a guy who doesn’t understand that, he doesn’t deserve you.”
“I agree, but I’m always surprised when girls think differently than me. I was beginning to wonder if I was wrong.”
“You’re not wrong. Don’t ever doubt yourself on that.”
“Thank you.” She seems relieved to hear me say she’s not wrong and I wonder how often she’s told sheiswrong. “Okay, it’s your turn to tell me something you want in life.”
I rest my back against the seat and exhale a long breath as I glance up at the sky and think about that. “I want conflicting things.”
“What things?”
I look at her. “I grew up knowing my future holds politics, and while I want that, I don’t want the bullshit that goes with it. I’m not interested in putting on a show to get what I want, but politics is all about the optics, so it seems that’s my destiny if I decide to pursue this.”
“I know all about putting on a show to get what I want.”
“What are your thoughts on that?”
She smiles and I swear it’s a smile that could light up the grayest of days. “Do you know, I can’t recall a man besides one of my teachers ever asking my thoughts on something. Not even any of the men in my family.”
