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Me: Did you avoid social media when your sex tape went viral?
Jenna: You know I didn’t. And that’s why I’m qualified to give you this advice.
Me: Honestly, I can’t look away. This is getting out of control and I’m worried for Bradford.
Jenna: How is he?
Me: He spent most of the flight home working through the damage control plan his political consultant put together this morning. He isn’t anywhere near as stressed as I would be if I was him.
Jenna: How are you?
Me: Let’s just say that this doesn’t feel like a great start to a marriage. Like maybe I’ve really messed things up for Bradford.
Jenna: Just don’t do what I did when I was worried I’d screwed things up for Beckett. Don’t run. Keep talking and figuring things out together.
Me: I’m not going to run.
Jenna: Good.
Me: Question: do you know what the history is between our family and Bradford’s?
Jenna: What history?
Me: Dad said he won’t tolerate my marriage because the history between our families is one he doesn’t want to revisit.
Jenna: Wow. I know nothing about this history. Does Bradford know?
Me: He’s been busy all day. I haven’t asked him yet. I’m going to call Mom later and ask her.
Jenna: Are you okay? Do you need me when you get home?
Me: No, I’m okay. You know Dad, he’ll freeze me out for a while and then we’ll just move on.
Jenna: I know, but still. I know how upsetting it is when he does this. I’m here if you need me.
Me: I love you.
Jenna: Okay, keep me updated on what Mom tells you. And we need dinner or lunch or breakfast or anything ASAP because I need to know everything there is to know about this wedding! OH, and where will you be living now? At Bradford’s?
Me: We’re on our way to his place now but we actually haven’t discussed this yet.
After a great start to the day in which I felt like I could handle this marriage, I’m now feeling a little out of my depth as the reality of our situation settles in. I mean, who gets married on a whim to a man they weren’t dating? A man they’ve never lived with or spent an extended amount of time with? No one. That’s who. And yet here I am, married with no clue as to how we’ll blend our lives or whether we’ll even be a good match once we’re living together.
Another text comes in from Jenna, but Bradford reaches for my hand from across the car and says, “What are you thinking?”
I put my phone down and look at him, noting the concern in his eyes. “That I don’t even know if you snore. Or if you put your socks in the laundry basket when you take them off. Or if you use too many plates and glasses when you could use less. Or if you steal all the blankets in bed. Oh, and I have absolutely no idea how you eat bananas.” My eyes widen a fraction. “A girl should never marry a man without knowing these things about him.”
Bradford’s brows pull together. “Surely there’s only one way to eat a banana.”
I like that he’s humoring me. That he’s not mentioning the meltdown I’m beginning to feel in my bones. “There’s not. I dated a guy once who divided them into quarters lengthwise before eating them. If you tell me that’s how you eat them, I’m going to need to re-evaluate this marriage right now. I can’t be in the middle of a mid-life crisisanda marriage crisis at the same time.”
He considers me for a long moment before finally saying, “What’s really worrying you?”
“All of those things are worrying me.”
“We can go through all those things tonight, and anything else you want to know about me. But I need to know how your heart is breathing right now, Kristen. What’s actually worrying it. That’s how we’re doing this marriage.”
Not one man I have ever dated has listened to me the way this man does. I’ve always known Bradford listens intently to everything I say, but I love (more than can actually be expressed) that he’s actioning what I told him I needed from him in this relationship.
