AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“No.” I shake my head almost violently. “I might have rushed into marriage, but that’s not the real reason Dad’s doing what he is and you know it.” She recoils like she’s been slapped but I just keep going. “Dad’s doing what he does best. He’s withholding love to get what he wants. He’s doing that because it’s a tactic that’s always worked with him where I’m concerned, but it won’t work in this situation. It will never work again. I’m not the scared little girl desperate for her father’s approval any longer, Mom. I see him for exactly what he is, a bully who has no idea how to be a father.”
“Careful what you say, Kristen,” Dad says, joining us with a thunderous expression on his face. “You won’t be able to take it back.”
I stare at him, wondering how I was ever scared of him. Why I ever needed his approval to believe I was a worthy human being. “I don’t want to take anything back, Dad. I mean every word I’m saying.”
His jaw hardens and his nostrils flare. “That man isn’t who you think he is. He will break your heart, and when he does, I won’t be there to pick the pieces up like I always have.”
My eyes almost bulge out of my head. “Are you serious? When have you ever picked the pieces up for me?”
“I’ve had to do it every single time you’ve made a mess of a relationship.”
Mom inhales sharply. “William. That’s enough.”
I hold up my hand at her. “No, Mom, let him say what he wants to say. I’m interested to see just how little he thinks of me.”
She looks positively desolate. If I wasn’t in the frame of mind I’m in, I’d feel for her position here. I’d admit she’s caught between her husband and her child. But I’m in no mind to care about that. Today, I’m putting myself, and only myself, first. In fact, I’m pretending like no other person in the world matters right now.
“Kristen,” Mom pleads. “Please don’t do this.”
“No!” I scream. “Fuck me, Mom. If I have to hear you say those words ever again, I will literally scream at you.” I can’t even count the number of times my mother has told me toplease don’t do this. It’s a fucking wonder I even know how to take care of myself after having her helicopter around me my entire life.
Dad shakes his head and eyes me with contempt. “He’s already changing you, turning you into a disgrace. That language does not become you, Kristen.”
“Bradfordhaschanged me, but do you know what? It’s taken him almost a decade because all that time, you were there beating me back down, keeping me in the box you wanted me in, the one that worked best foryou.” I suddenly feelveryintent on Dad knowing it is not okay to say a bad word against my husband. Stabbing my finger at him, I say, “Don’t you ever speak against Bradford again. I won’t stand for it. He’s the best man I know and has only helped me, not harmed me like you have.”
“It seems my time here is wasted,” Dad says dismissively. He looks at Mom. “I suggest you don’t also waste your time.”
As he turns to leave, I say, “I know what happened between Mom and Edmund Black.”
His back stiffens and his shoulders turn to stone before he slowly turns back to me. His face twists cruelly as he spits, “You know nothing.”
“Kristen,” Mom says. She wisely doesn’t utter her standard request. Instead, she just stands there begging me with her eyes toplease don’t do this.
This is the moment I can’t come back from. Once I speak my next words, there will be no hope for me and my father.
My entire life flashes through my mind.
Like a movie.
Mom smoothing me.
Ensuring I was polished for the world.
Dad pressing his lips in disapproval at me.
Denying me his love.
“You’re cutting your child out of your life because your wife and another man made you feel deficient. Inadequate. Lacking. Well, welcome to my life, Dad. That’s exactly how you’ve made me feel since I was born. The difference between us is that I took that pain and healed myself. I’ll succeed in spite of you. You’ve had nearly three decades to heal, but instead of doing that, you spent all that time inflicting your pain on your family.” I step closer to him, my shoulders pushed back, my head held high. “The world might think you’re a success, but the world is fickle and doesn’t remember much past each news cycle. You know who remembers? Your family. And, sadly for you, you’ve only given us awful things to remember. You’re a bully and I hate that I took so long to see that. I wasted so much time.”
I don’t need to come back from this moment.
I need to set myself on fire and rise from it.
Those fucking affirmations were right all along.
I am loved.
I am worthy.
