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Our music. I enjoyed the sound of that when those words came from him.
“Isn’t that good news?” I probed, needing more information before my imagination swept me into paranoia.
“Not to me. Not when she’s not who I want.” Levi faced me again. His penetrating gaze unsettled me almost as much as his statement.
“What do you mean?”
I was helping to write the music, but this was Levi’s album. He could have any pick of artists.
Levi rose from the couch, maintaining his grip on my hips as he towered imposingly over me. “I want you to sing the parts, Diana.”
I jerked out of his grasp before my name passed his lips.
“No. I can’t do that.” My voice grated through me, and I steadily back further away.
Levi followed me step by step. “I know I shouldn’t ask. It’s the most selfish thing I’ve ever wanted. But goddammit, you’re brilliant and you have the voice of an angel. It’s a shame for you not to sing the music you write.”
“No,” I repeated.
That morning Levi had held the tiny rotten thing that was my heart in his hands, and for the first time in years I’d felt it beating again. And he’d ripped it up like a flimsy sheet of music in front of my face and stomped it into the floor.
He read the stricken expression sweeping over my features, then reached for me again.
I dodged out of his way and crossed my arms over my chest as a personal shield. Moments ago, all I’d wanted was to sink into his embrace and never resurface. Now his touch seemed necrotic and monstrous.
“I can’t believe you’d ask that of me, Levi. After everything, I thought you of all people understood why I left, and why I can’t return to the public eye,” I said, thinly. “I still have nightmares about paparazzi following me, harassing me, and borderline stalking me after my father’s murder.”
“Songbird—”
“Don’t you dare call me that right now,” I cut him off, voice as sharp as a blade. My tone rose with my anger. “I gave up my entire career as a singer to escape from all that, and you’d subject me to that hell all over again?”
“I know it was selfish of me to ask. I’m sorry.” Levi shrank under my glare.
“You shouldn’t have fucking asked at all!” I lost control of my voice then, shouting at the top of my lungs.
A tickling sensation on my cheek silenced me. I lifted my fingers and swiped away a tear before it fell from my face. I stared at the drop on my fingertip, feeling another tear fall. Then another and another until they blurred my vision.
“Diana, please listen. You don’t have to agree. It was just a suggestion. A terrible one. I’m so sorry for asking.” As genuine as Levi’s apology was, he had no clue what monster he’d triggered inside me.
Now that my personal beast of burden had reawakened, I couldn’t escape. The tragic abyss cracked open beneath my feet, threatening to reach up with hooked claws and drag me back into a world of weighty darkness.
The memories of our time together became bittersweet when his request tasted like betrayal.
“Why? After what I’ve shared with you, Levi, why?” I bit back the sob rising in my voice.
Levi attempted reaching for me again but dropped his trembling fists when I recoiled from him. He swore under his breath, shaking his head at himself.
“Raymond said he got Scarlett Daze to sing the parts, but I can’t work with her again. Not when I want you,” he said, strained with remorse.
“What? But haven’t you worked with her before?” I stuttered, wiping my embarrassing tears away.
He reared back and swiped a hand over his neck. His eyes went to the floor. “Yes, but we have a history. One I’d rather not repeat.”
The implication in his tone and the way he avoided my gaze told me what I needed to know.
“You slept with her.” Not an accusation, but not a question either.
His head arched back, and his shoulders dropped with his exhale. After a brittle moment of staring at the ceiling, he finally faced me to answer. “Yeah, we did. Working together again would complicate things. Now that we’re together, I—”
