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I knew that the Soulless Sinners were a motorcycle club. I knew they killed people. I wasn’t stupid. But to hear Snoopy and the others talk as if it was a footnote in history was more than I could handle. Then there was the fact they were talking about a man who spent most of my life teaching me, loving me, being the only father I ever knew, as if he were some criminal was more than I could handle.
They didn’t know Mr. Graves like I did. He was a sweet man. He wouldn’t hurt a fly. He couldn’t. He never raised his voice. I never saw him angry, not once. He was a pillar in the community, always the first to help when needed. There wasn’t a person back home who wouldn’t lie down and protect Mr. Graves.
“I don’t think I can do this,” I muttered.
Silver reached across the table, placing her hand over mine. “Take a deep breath for me, Tessa. Whatever is going on, I need you to calm down.”
Shaking my head, I whispered, “Why did I come back here? I should have stayed away.”
“Tessa,” Silver calmly said. “Look at me.”
Looking up, I stared into the young woman’s light gray, almost silver eyes. They were haunting, but hypnotic. I’d never seen eyes like hers before. Unique and soulful. I understand now how she got the nickname.
Younger than me by five years, Silver lived at the club. She was barely sixteen when Montana found her eating out of the garbage can all those years ago. A skinny street rat, Silver had no one. Alone in the world, Montana took her in, gave her a place to stay and something to do.
Now, she was a fixture in this place, just like the club banner painted on the wall. Silver took care of the club and the brothers who lived here full time. No one touched her and lived. No one really knew her real name or where she came from. Only that one day she showed up and never left. The only one who knew anything was Montana, and he refused to say a damn word, not even to me when I asked.
“I don’t know what set you off and I know you’re scared, but I’m going to tell you something and I need you to hear my words. Okay?”
I nodded.
“Did you know the night Montana found me I was planning to kill myself?”
I shook my head.
“I wasn’t looking for food like everyone believes. That’s what Montana told everyone to shut them up. I was looking for something, anything, to end my life. I knew I could have jumped in the harbor, but I’m deathly afraid of water. The thought of drowning petrifies me. You see, I’ve been scared my whole life. I’ve never known happiness until I came here. When Montana found me, he sat out back with me for hours, patiently talking to me about stupid shit. Mainly he talked about you. How you were driving him crazy. He didn’t know what to think regarding you. Listening to him, I didn’t understand how one woman could aggravate a man like him. It made no sense to me. The more I listened to him, the more I understood. He loved you. He would do anything for you, to protect you, to keep you safe. He confused me. I never knew that a man could love a woman like that. All I’d ever known was pain. I equated pain with love. I didn’t know any other way. But listening to him, I saw the devotion he felt for you, the depth of his love for you has no bounds. So, whatever is going on, know that Montana will do anything to protect you. You may not agree with his methods. Hell, you may not even understand them, but know that man in there lives and breathes for you. You destroyed him when you left. For the last three years, he’s lived a half-life. The love in his eyes was gone. He became hard, desensitized to life. Then you came back, and I see the man he was once. There is no Montana without you, and I believe there is no Tessa without Montana. Do you understand?”
I nodded.
“Good. Now stop second guessing yourself. You are right where you belong because if you truly felt as if you made a mistake, you’d have already left.”
“I don’t know if I can be what he wants.”
“Bullshit,” Silver grinned, shaking her head. “You are just scared. You have two choices, Tessa. You can man the fuck up and grab onto this life with both hands and accept that the man you love has a dark side and love him anyway, or you can be a fucking coward and walk away.”
“I’m no coward,” I huffed.
“I know. So, stop second guessing yourself. Pull up your big girl panties and trust in your man.”
“You are not where you belong,” A deep voice growled, making Silver tense up and freeze. Turning, I saw Malice glaring at the young woman.
“We were just talking, Malice,” I said, facing Montana’s enforcer.
“Her job is to tend bar. Not gossip,” he seethed.
“She’s allowed to take a break, Malice,” I retorted, as Silver jumped from her seat and ran towards the kitchen. Getting to my feet, I squared off with the most feared club brother. “You didn’t have to scare her. She was just bringing me a cup of tea.”
Malice glared at me. “You leave him, I will kill you.”
“Excuse me?”
Malice said nothing more as he turned around and walked away, leaving me standing there, knowing damn well he meant every word he just said. Watching him walk away, I grabbed the chair next to me and sat as Virginia walked into the rec room with Kali and a heavily pregnant woman.
“There you are,” Virginia said, smiling at me before pulling out a chair for the pregnant woman.
“Tessa, this is Linsey. She belongs to Vicious.”
“Really?” the beautiful woman questioned. “Belong? I’m not his dog, Virginia.”
