AllFreeNovel
Share Us
What the hell happened? “No, but you should. His presence here would have given you visibility,” I say calmly.
He takes a drink. “I don’t give a shit. That man’s a jerk.”
I frown. “What happened?”
“Doesn’t matter,” he says, then looks away.
I take a good look at him, recognizing the frustration oozing from his body. Maybe right now it’s not a good time to keep asking about Dan. I just have to trust him that he’s had his reasons. “O-kay. What about my dad? Did your conversation with him have anything to do with Dan… or was it about me?”
He glances at me over the tumbler, his eyes darkening.
My stomach curls tightly and then it sinks. I’m the one now who needs a stiff drink, but I doubt I’ll be able to chug it down. I’m all messy nerves and anxious energy. “It was about me,” I say in a small voice.
His jaw clenches. “Listen, Whitney—”
A sense of dread takes hold of me. I can tell what’s about to happen. He’s going to write me off. He’ll use whatever my dad told him to end what we both know was just the beginning. Sadness expands in my chest, so much so that breathing is hard to do. “No.” I wave him off. “You’re not going to let whatever my dad say get in your head. He’s upset, but he’ll get over it.” I know my father. He panics at first, but then when he comes down from the reactive high, he sees things for what they really are.
He runs his fingers down his face, like he’s annoyed, which in turn makes me annoyed. “You and me… we aren’t going to work out,” he says. “I’m sorry.”
“Excuse me? We already worked out. Remember the other day? You said forever,” I say, drawling out the last word. What is he thinking? That this is it? A twinge of disappointment claws at my heart. What if I magnified what I thought he felt for me? What if he magnified those feelings? I chew my lower lip.
He shuffles from side to side, obviously uncomfortable, and has a hard time staring at me in the eye. “That was just something I said, well, during sex.”
“So you say forever to every woman?” I bite out each word, the disappointment shifting into anger. Whether he means it or not, if he wanted to hurt my feelings, mission accomplished.
“No, I say things I don’t mean… in the heat of the moment.”
I rub my throbbing temples. I can’t believe what I’m hearing. He’s supposed to be the more mature one out of the two of us. “Wow.”
His eyes connect with mine. “I know this sounds cruel. It wasn’t planned, Whitney. I didn’t plan to lead you on. I was carried away too. Realistically though… I don’t want to jeopardize your father’s friendship. Besides, I broke a man code.”
I shake my head, still so late in the emotionally processing game. “You’re being a coward. We’re getting real, so real you’re scared,” I say, my every hope clinging to that possibility—and not that he ends up being more of a letdown than guys my age. If I wanted immature assholes, I know where I could have gone. I wanted a real man. I thought I found one. But truth was… I sigh.
“I’m being pragmatic. In the future, you’ll agree.”
Agree? The only thing I think we can both agree is that this conversation is over. I gather what’s left of my dignity and slide out of the booth, standing in front of him. “Maybe you’re right… if my dad is enough to make you question us, this means we won’t go as far as we can because you won’t let it. You’ll use any excuse not to find happiness with me. And that’s the opposite of what I deserve,” I say, then turn around and leave.
17
Whitney
The insistent doorbell ring startles me out of sleep.
Yawning, I swing a leg over the other, dragging my way out of the bed.
I probably got maybe two hours of sleep. It took me forever to close my eyes last night, after the heartbreak Maddox put me through. I was restless, fidgety, and devastated. All the words he told me about falling for me meant nothing.
If he was really invested, he wouldn’t use the first obstacle to dip out.
It was my dad, but what else could it have been? Would he have used just a different excuse later on?
A part of me wants to believe he has strong feelings for me, butdoesn’t wantto have them. He acted like he succumbed to it, but maybe he’s still fighting it. This isn’t a fight I can do for him.
I’m aware of my love. But his? He has to own it.
Sighing, I run into the bathroom, wash my eyes quickly. They’re still a bit puffy from all the late-night crying, but the doorbell keeps reminding me there’s someone out there who’s probably not a mail carrier delivery person.
Could be Maddox. Perhaps he came to his senses and wants to talk things over. The sad thing is I’ll hear him out, and there’s a big probability I’ll forgive him instantly.Be strong, I tell myself.At least give him a hard time first.
