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I sighed and called Dave.
For a second, I thought about him not answering.
What I would have to say via voicemail and if that would actually count as talking to him. Or constitute a true breakup.
Only this was Dave.
He was going to answer.
Of course he was going to answer.
Knowing Dave, he probably sat somewhere with his phone glued to his hand.
All the while I took off to go see Riff.
While I knocked frantically on Riff’s door.
While I jumped into Riff’s arms and kissed him.
Then made a stupid joke about cheating…
Sitting on Riff’s counter, eating his bacon cheeseburger.
Staring at Riff’s insanely ripped muscular body, remembering all the spots I had kissed, licked, and nibbled.
“Fiona?” Dave’s voice cracked.
“Dave,” I said. “You answered.”
“I’ll always answer.”
I turned my head and saw Riff.
Leaning back against the railing.
That man could look hot no matter what.
Even if he had the worst case of the flu and was pale and vomiting.
He’d still beso fucking hot.
“Where are you?” Dave asked.
“Dave, this never was a thing,” I said.Time to just be a mean bitch. Honesty…“I’m so sorry, Dave. I think something went wrong here. You thought something I didn’t. You felt something I never did.”
“Fiona…”
“Dave, I’m not going to do this,” I said. “I’m not going to have this conversation, okay? I am not the type of woman who is going to settle down and get married. I’m not going to pop out a few kids and worry about cleaning the house or where to take the family on vacation next summer. I will never be that woman. I never gave that kind of vibe to you. Dave, we didn’t even live together.”
“Fiona, I love you. I’m obsessed with you. I want you to be my wife.”
“Dave. I’m now a memory. Painful as it may sound, that’s it. I’m a memory. I want to be very clear. I’m sorry if this is mean. We are nothing now. We are not together. We sure as hell are not engaged. Okay? We’re not dating either. We are nothing. I want to be very clear on that.”
“Fiona,” Dave whined.
I stared at Riff.
He smiled at me.
