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The incidents that had happened today made me want to believe she’d be open to something more, but once time and space separated us again, I’d realize I was just looking into things a little too hard and hoping a little too much that our destiny could be different.
“Noelle,” I started, my gaze flicking to her as I drummed my fingers on the edge of the table. “When was the last time you ate a full meal?”
Her eyes flicked up at me, a soft shade of surprise blooming in them, before she returned her gaze to the uneaten food on her plate. “What does it matter?”
“It matters because I care,” I said, a hint of exasperation creeping into my voice. “You always push your food around on your plate, rarely eating more than a few bites. It’s not healthy.”
She looked back up at me, her brown eyes hardening slightly. “I don’t need you to babysit me, Max. I’m an adult.”
I leaned back in my chair, crossing my arms over my chest. I let out a sigh, trying to control the frustrated thoughts in my head. “I know you’re an adult, Noelle, but you’re not taking care of yourself. And as someone who cares about you, it’s hard for me to watch.”
Her gaze softened, but her voice remained steely. “I appreciate your concern, but I’m capable of managing my own health. I’ve had a lot going on lately, that’s all.”
“I get it,” I said, rubbing the back of my neck awkwardly, “But you’ve got to understand my worry, too. I’ve seen you go through some rough patches, and I can’t stand to see you in that state for long. You deserve happiness.”
She looked down again, her shoulders dropping as if she had the weight of the world on them. She remained silent, stirring her uneaten food with her fork.
“Noelle, I-”
“I don’t want to talk about it, Max,” she cut me off, her voice breaking slightly. I clenched my jaw, swallowing the lump in my throat. I wanted to comfort her, to hold her, but I didn’t want to cross any boundaries. The silence that hung in the air was heavy and palpable. We avoided each other’s gaze until the waitress returned, handing me back my card and placing the box for her uneaten food on the table.
“Let’s go,” Noelle said abruptly, getting up from her chair and heading towards the exit. I gave the waitress a tight smile before following her out.
The drive back to her place was silent. The tension seemed to thicken with each passing minute. When we arrived, she got out of the truck without saying a word, grabbing her shopping bags and the box of her uneaten lunch.
As she headed towards her front door, I couldn’t hold back anymore. I jumped out of the truck, closing the distance between us in a few long strides.
“Elfie, wait.” I grabbed her arm gently, turning her to face me. She looked up at me, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”
She shook her head, pulling her arm out of my grasp. “It’s not your fault, Max. It’s just... everything feels overwhelming right now.”
“Then let me help you,” I pleaded, feeling my heart tighten at the sight of her, so defeated. “You don’t have to go through life alone.”
She gave me a weak smile, placing a hand on my cheek. “I know, Max. But this is something I need to figure out on my own.I can’t rely on everyone around me to make me happy.”
I nodded, even though I hated the idea of her fighting her battles alone. I watched as she unlocked her front door and walked inside, leaving me standing on the cold pavement with a fear gnawing at the pit of my stomach. A fear that I was losing her. Losing her to her own struggles and to the inevitable distance growing between us. I didn’t know how to fight it, and it scared me.
Chapter Five
Noelle
Mymindwasplayingtricks on me. It had to be. I was standing in my bedroom looking down at the box that had been delivered. Inside was the silky dark green strapless dress I’d tried on at the department store and laying on top of it was a pink envelope with my name on it.
Noelle,
This one was my favorite. When you wear it, think of me.
I looked around my room as if someone was playing tricks on me. Max was the only person who had seen me in the dress. I suppose it was possible my secret admirer had been there and saw me pull it off the rack, but that seemed like a stretch. It had been two days since our shopping spree and I still couldn’t get my mind to stop thinking about what had transpired between us. His hands on me in the dressing room were only the start. The words he said to me and the groan as my lips made contact with his fingers were all signs of something more. Weren’t they?
I lifted the dress out of the box and held it up to myself in front of the mirror. I closed my eyes, remembering the feel of his touch on my back. The way his fingers seemed to caress my skin as he pulled up the zipper and the need that ran through my body was suddenly too much. I hung the dress in the closet and put the envelope in my nightstand before pulling out my favorite little vibrating wand from the drawer. It was late, but I was needy and for the first time, I let myself imagine what it would be like if Max was the one who had left me all the notes. I slipped out of my clothes and crawled onto my bed. Then closed my eyes as I spread my legs and pinched my nipples. My mind was racing with everything he could do to me. His rough, calloused hands caressing my body as they had in the dressing room, but this time with intent.
I turned on the little toy to the constant vibration setting I loved and ran it over my breasts and down my belly until I settled it between my folds and over my clit. I was too worked up to edge myself tonight. Too worked up to even play with my other toys. I needed release, and I needed it as fast as I could get it. My hips bucked upward as I slid the wand through my slit, covering it in my wetness. My scent filled my senses, and I cried out as I imagined Max between my thighs, thrusting into me as he massaged my clit. That was the last scene in my mind right before I exploded, calling out his name as I crashed into a wall of sheer pleasure.
I came hard and fast and as I laid there naked with my legs feeling like jelly and my heart racing, I realized I needed more. I turned the toy off and propped one leg up on a pillow and slid my finger between my folds. I circled my clit gently with the slick wetness that remained from my climax. I always needed more, wanted more after the first time I got off. Men I dated never understood. Their priority was the finish line and as soon as I came, they figured they accomplished what they set out to do. They didn’t. My body was greedy and as I played with myself like a finely tuned machine, I smiled at the thought that Max would never be like that. He spent his entire life helping me get everything I wanted out of it. Sure, there were times we weren’t as close or he was busy, but I always knew if there was something I needed or wanted, he would be the person to give it to me.
My eyes caught the dress hanging on my closet door and my breath caught at the thought that maybe, just maybe, it was him all along. My second climax was slower to build, and longer to last. I ran my free hand over my breasts and fondled my nipples as I rocked my hips into my hand. Before long, I closed my eyes and pictured Max, laying there next to me sucking on my nipples as his fingers pleasured me. I would lie in his arms as my second climax rose and crushed me. He would be the ultimate dream come true. He’d hold me as he did it, tell me everything he loved about me and when I finally came down, he would roll over on top of me, spread my legs and make love to me again.
The visions in my mind were so vivid I couldn’t argue with them. I believed in my heart that is exactly how things would go and that belief sent me over the edge. The feeling of love and safety that consumed me, even though he was on the other side of town in his own bed, he set me off in a way I had never experienced before. Instead of screaming out for him, I moaned and writhed under my own fingers as my lips parted and I had nothing left in me but a whisper. His name passed my lips and met my ears and I smiled.
