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“Maybe not, but I know he will be here by your birthday. Just like he promised. You’ll be next on the list of Saint family members who have found their forever and I’ll be completely alone.”
“Not true. Just because the guys finally found their women doesn’t mean that Holly or I will.”
“I’m telling you, Eve, there is something in the water around here. You just wait.”
I spent the next hour on the phone with my empathetic sister. Christmas was right around the corner and my family was obsessed with it. This year, I had a new niece and a nephew on the way. I loved the kids. In fact, having them around was the highlight of my week, but it also reminded me constantly of how badly I wanted that for myself. Eve was right. I had been on a mission to find the right man because I was ready for forever. I wanted the husband, the kids, and the white picket fence. I get that the idea of it all was outdated for most people, but it wasn’t for me. I wanted to be loved; I wanted to be cherished, and I wanted to be someone’s everything. But it seemed like every time I tried, I ended up with the same type of guy. The type of guy who only cared about himself and didn’t give a damn about anyone else.
I got myself up, showered, and changed into pajamas. Regardless of what a shitty day I had, life still went on and everyone expected me at my parents’ in the morning. The only good thing that I had to look forward to was my letters. Somehow, whenever I was going through a breakup, he knew, and the frequency would increase. I smiled to myself as I scrolled through my phone, hoping sleep would take over. That’s when I heard a knock on the door. I hesitated before getting up to answer it. It was late, and I wasn’t expecting anyone. My heart raced with fear when the thought of Andrew coming back for another round of arguments crossed my mind, but when I opened the door, there was no one there. Just a single pink envelope on the ground.
I picked it up and opened it. My hands shook with anticipation. The letter inside was short and to the point.
Noelle,
You have nothing to worry about. You belong to me.
I felt a chill run down my spine. That questioning feeling that always crept in was settling in the pit of my stomach. Maybe he wasn’t just a secret admirer, maybe he was a stalker after all. And now, he was getting bolder. There was snow on the ground, but it was all packed down from people walking by all day. I didn’t see anyone, and there weren’t any signs that someone was even still out there. I stepped back inside and pulled the door closed. Maybe I had encouraged him somehow by keeping them. Could he have even known? The thought of throwing them away made me feel sick to my stomach. They were the only thing that made me feel loved and wanted. I tried to push the negative thoughts out of my head and focus on getting some sleep. But as it continued to evade me, I found myself once again reaching into my nightstand and pulling out some of my favorites.
Noelle,
I’m so proud of you. I wish I could share this time with you in person, but I know it’s for the best that I keep my distance. You are remarkable in how you set your mind to things and accomplish them. I need you to know that, regardless of any difficulties you may face in the future.
That one came the day I graduated from college. It was bittersweet, as most of my major accomplishments were. I was one of six kids and multiple foster kids that my parents had loved and cared for. I was beyond grateful for every one of them, but the day I graduated, one of my foster brothers had gotten into a car accident and my dad missed my graduation. I was sad and scared. I wanted to be with my foster brother and the rest of the family, but my mom insisted I attend the ceremony. We postponed my party and a week later, everything was back to normal. My brother was fine. The party went on without a hiccup, but I felt guilty for being upset that my day was ruined. It felt selfish, but that was always the thing that appealed to me about having a family of my own. I would be the center of their world and they would be the center of mine. The memories of my first parents were cloudy since I was so young when I was adopted, but the few that I had made it clear I was never a priority for them. My mom and dad changed that for me and I loved them dearly, but they were always spread thin. As an adult, I understood, but as a child, it was difficult to deal with.
I guess somewhere deep inside, I had hoped Andrew could be that person for me. The one who would help me start the family I dreamed of. That hope made me blind to reality. It made me believe things that weren’t real and now I was full of regret and anger. Not so much with him, but with me.
Chapter Two
Maxwell
Leavingthatnoteather door was a risk, but I needed her to get it. The overwhelming urge to just stand in front of the door and let her see that it had been me all along was getting harder and harder to fight back. Noelle Saint was my life. Everything I did was for her, and she didn’t even know it. I was insane, that was a certainty, but in the end, it would all be worth it. Whitewood is a small town and I couldn’t leave her. Living here as a troubled teen left me with a shitty reputation as a young adult. I left for college but came back after dropping out. Being away from her was too hard. I couldn’t think straight on the other side of the country. Not being able to see her regularly made me uneasy. My mind always raced with fear that she would need me and I’d be too far to help, so I dropped out and came back. Now, years later, I was still leaving her notes and hoping that one day I’d have the guts to tell her the truth.
When I left her house, I headed straight for the asshole that broke her heart. It killed me to see her with other men, but I knew it was inevitable. Most I could chase off early in the relationship, some I even intercepted before they approached her, but Andrew was a tricky bastard. I had been bogged down with work at the shop and I wasn’t checking on her as frequently as I usually do. By the time I realized they were dating, he had already taken her out twice and when I followed them to the movie theater in the city, she seemed happy and I couldn’t bring myself to let her get hurt again. That was until today, when I finally got the proof I needed to get her to call it off.
I parked in the small alley behind Rosie’s Bar and walked inside. The smell and feel of the place brought back memories of my childhood. Rosie was friends with my mom, and for years, when the world felt like it was coming down around me, I sought refuge working as bar-back or clearing tables for her. It wasn’t a normal job for a fifteen-year-old kid, and honestly, I’m not even sure it was legal for me to be working at a bar that young, but that was one of the perks of a small town. People turned a blind eye to others who lent a helping hand.
“There he is,” John, one of the old timers, said the second I sat down next to him. “What brings you in tonight?”
I made eye contact with the bartender and motioned for a beer as he lifted his glass to his lips. “Just a drink and little business, old friend.”
“Business, huh? What kind?”
The bartender placed a bottle in front of me and I pointed it to where Andrew was sitting in the corner with a redhead I didn’t recognize. The filthy fuck broke my girl’s heart and then jumped right onto the next one.
“I see. That kid has been nothing but trouble since his old man took off on his ma.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, no respect for anyone or anything. Heard he was dating one of the Saint girls.”
“Not anymore.”
“I guess that’s your business, then?”
“It is.”
“Just try to not make too much of a mess, okay? Rosie has had a long week.”
“She okay?”
