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Myheartdroppedintomy stomach and my knees went weak as soon as I saw his text. This was it, the other shoe was about to drop and there was nothing I could do about it. Things had only started a few days ago, but it had been the best few days of my life and now it was all going to come crashing down.
Noelle: I’m with Eve at mom and dad’s but I can meet you somewhere.
Maxwell: I don’t want to pull you away from them if you are busy.
Noelle: It’s fine. I think Eve is leaving soon, anyway. She’s acting really weird and mom keeps asking her questions she doesn’t seem to want to answer.
Maxwell: Is she okay?
Noelle: I think so. I feel like it has to do with Rio, but she keeps saying it doesn’t.
Maxwell: Okay, let me know when you get home. I can meet you there.
I dodged my family as quick as I could without drawing too much attention to my need to get out of there. I texted him to tell him I was on my way home and was surprised that he wasn’t at my place when I got there. I spent my time waiting by running around like a chicken with my head cut off, cleaning things I never clean and stressing out about what was going to happen. I was so distracted by a spot on the baseboard I was scrubbing that I screamed when he was standing over me.
“Everything okay down there?”
“I didn’t hear you come in.”
“I see that.”
I reached for his outstretched hand and he pulled me to his body, capturing my lips in a kiss. Everything melted away, and it wasn’t until cool air came between us that I opened my eyes and all the fears I had came back with overwhelming dread. Tears rushed to my eyes, and I turned away quickly, hoping he wouldn’t catch them, but I was too late. I felt his hand on my face and his grip on my hip tightened as he spoke.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s come over me.”
“You need to stop apologizing to me, Elfie. You didn’t do anything wrong that warrants an apology.”
I nodded, but I still couldn’t come up with words that wouldn’t embarrass the hell out of me.
“Talk to me Elfie, please.”
“You asked to talk. You first.”
Max was quiet for a bit before he stepped back and reached for my hand, pulling me over to the couch. His physical touch was both driving me insane and confusing me at the same time. If he was here to call things off, then he would keep his distance, but that didn’t seem to be the case at all. I could almost convince myself that wasn’t what was happening, but the look on his face was not only one of concern but fear.
“What’s going on Max?”
“I wanted to talk to you about everything that’s going on between us. It’s my fault we didn’t have this conversation sooner. I regret that I’ve let us get this involved without having some decisions made about how we would handle everything.”
His eyes dropped to where my hand gripped his tighter and I watched as he lifted them to his lips and placed a kiss on each of my fingers. His eyes never left mine.
“The look you are giving me makes my chest hurt. Noelle, I never want you to doubt how I feel about you. I’ve been honest about that from the beginning and nothing has changed.”
“You say that, but clearly something is bothering you.”
“You’re right. I never intended for us to be a secret. I agreed because I thought that was what you wanted, but you deserve more than that from me.”
“Max, I–”
“Please, let me finish. I’ve waited so long to have you and now I realize it was out of fear. I was scared you didn’t feel the same way about me, scared you might lose your family if you did. The fear caused me to make some pretty shitty decisions over the years and I can’t help but feel like I’m making another one. If you are serious about us, then I want to talk to mom and dad. As long as they are okay, I can deal with everyone else, but I know it’s important to you to get mom’s approval about all this.”
My head was swimming. Of course, I was serious about Max. Being with him was amazing, but it was so much more than sex. He made me feel loved and whole and as if I could actually trust someone for the first time in my life, but he was right. Mom’s approval was important to me.
“I know it’s stupid. I mean, I’m a grown woman making my own decisions but-”
“You don’t have to explain. I understand and I respect that. I just wanted to talk to you before I speak to them.”
