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CHAPTER1
Savannah
Meditation and hypnotherapy— I hoped it would’ve worked wonders through the next twelve-hour flight from London back to Florida. I don’t know the reason why I picked a destination with one of the longest flight times for a one-way ride when I ran away. But as Jackie, my therapist, pointed out, it was a comfortable choice. I picked a place where I felt safe; the language, the amenities, safety structures, as long as it was like my home life in some respect. It had everything, really, apart from the sunny weather, and thankfully, the reason I originally left.
My breathing exercises were interrupted as the announcement cackled over the tannoy. I gazed down at my boarding pass, knowing I couldn’t delay the inevitable any longer.
“Last call for flight BA207 to Orlando International airport is now boarding at terminal five, gate C58.”
I grabbed my handbag from the seat next to me and repeated my mantras in my head. Having placed everything in the hold, except essentials, as advised in my sessions by Jackie, I took those tentative steps towards the boarding gate.
If I could have avoided this trip, I would have, but my mother was getting married to her childhood sweetheart. A man she rekindled her relationship with, many years later when she was employed by him as an assistant. A true love story that gave me hope for the future, since my own relationships had always ended in disaster. No happy ending for me as it stood. It hadn't mattered that I had run away two years ago from Tampa Bay; I had to return, stand by their sides, and be there for both Mike and her.
“Can I have your boarding pass, please?” the air assistant at the boarding desk requested.
“Of course,” I said, my hands shaking with nerves as I handed the boarding pass over to her.
“Miss Stanton, unfortunately, a seating error has occurred, and your designated paid-for seat has become unavailable. I would like to offer you an upgrade to first class,” she declared, after checking through some details on the computer system. “I’ve one seat left. All complimentary, of course, with a refund on the additional surcharges you paid originally.”
“Thank you...so much,” I stuttered, and sighed in relief as she nodded, taking note of my nervous state.
“My partner has the same reaction to flying, you know,” she commented. “I hope this helps make your journey a little more comfortable.”
I was handed a new boarding pass and led along the tunnel until we reached the plane doors.
"Good morning, miss," the flight attendant greeted me, in her fitted navy dress, with red pinstripe border, neatly pinned chignon, and ruby red lips.
I was shown through the door and welcomed by another member of the staff in similar attire, except she had a red neckerchief around her neck, who took my pass from me and directed me toward the first-class seating area.
“This way, please,” she directed, holding her hand toward the seat next to the aisle. “Seat 4F. I’ll be back soon to bring you a food menu.”
“Thanks.” I gave her a small smile, and she walked back to the direction she had come from.
I grabbed my headphones from inside of my handbag, knowing they’d help to settle my anxiety, and tucked the rest of my belongings under the seat in front of me. I hoped it would be someone who at least looked friendly, so I could've tried explaining if my attacks overcame my bearings. I was about to greet them with a smile when memories hit the forefront of my brain from the past as I saw the person sitting next to the window.
“River?” My eyes widened in shock, wondering if this was a dream, or if my wild imagination was playing games. I quickly blinked, making sure this was definitely real. Five years had passed since I had last seen him, or been in his company. River, one of my closest friends.
“Savannah?” He looked visibly confused like I was. I slumped down into the chair next to him, opened my drop-down table, and turned toward him.
“Hi.” My voice quivered, unsure of what else to say. He had unlocked a knot in my stomach, sending my mind into a spin, certainly not what I had expected on my flight ahead.
“Are you going to the wedding?” he asked, and I nodded, unable to speak any longer, as the cabin crew woman interrupted us both by dropping off a menu on my table.
I knew the words over and over. Jackie had prepared me for the air masks dropping down from above my head, incase of an emergency, and the dos and don’ts during an announcement, but the words caused more stress than ease. I felt an overcoming wave of a panic attack heading toward me as my entire body tightened up and my breathing went shallow. Gone were Jackie’s words of support and all I could think of was the risks of impending doom as I began freaking out about the take-off.
I'm not sure how I managed to overcome that solo flight originally when I ran away, initially. As I thought back, it must have been the adrenaline or copious amounts of alcohol I had consumed that had gotten me through it, and now two years later, I was back. No words of reason would've managed to get me out of this trip at all.
“Savannah, it’s okay.” I flipped my head to the side and stared into River’s pale blue eyes as I felt his hand grabbing hold of mine and squeezing it tight. “I’ve got you.”
“I can’t do this,” I forced the hissed the strangulated words out, dropping my head lower in my lap, breathing in deeply whilst hoping to keep any undue attention of other passengers away from me.
“You can. For your mum, for Mike, and for me,” he replied by rubbing small circles on my hand, trying to keep my mind focused, but it just wasn’t enough.
“Distract me,” I begged through clenched teeth, with a tilted sideway glance. I pleaded with my eyes, knowing that soon, we’ll be heading along the runway. I needed to tackle my fears away somehow before I exploded.
“That treehouse kiss.” He smirked, raising his eyebrow at me before running his hand through his messy, dark, tousled hair.
“Wow, River, that must have been—”
