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tracks.”
I nod. I do understand better than he knows. But I can’t tell him that.
“It’s not fair, though, is it?” I say, anger rising through my breath.
How could he know what this conversation meant to me?
How could he know that right now?
I’m assessing if I can tell him the truth about who I am?
I need to know. I want to tell him. I have to ... otherwise what we have right now will shatter into a million pieces.
“No, it’s not fair. But that’s life,” he sighs, raising his free hand to cup my cheek.
He looks into my eyes, and I feel like I’m melting into the seat.
I can forget all the rules, expectations, and dangers.
All that matters right now is us.
“Do you think you could ever love ... a girl from a family you’ve been at odds with?”
“At odds with?” he laughs sarcastically. “We don’t do odds in the mafia, Emily. We do blood and tears. So no, I couldn’t.”
“But Enzo did,” I say, trying to grasp at any win. I need a win.
“Enzo did,” he agrees, gripping my hand tightly.
“But Enzo made a mistake. He did it for the wrong reasons. I won’t make the same mistake.”
“But what if the reasons were right?” I ask, staring at him.
We’re now in his driveway, and he stops the car but doesn’t step out.
Slowly, he leans forward and presses his lips against mine. The kiss is gentle but passionate, and I can feel the emotion radiating from him.
He pulls away but keeps his hands on either side of my cheeks.
His face is so close I can feel his breath on my skin.
“Do you know what they say about the mafia?” he whispers.
I shake my head, my heart racing.
“You don’t choose the mafia. The mafia chooses you. And when it chooses you, family comes first.”
“Maybe he chose a different family,” I say. “Maybe that’s a choice too.”
“Never,” says Felix. “There are no right reasons for a Carlisi to love a Lucchese.”
My heart sinks as I hear him speak.
Then, slowly but surely, my anger rises to join it in my chest.
He’s right; I can never tell him the truth about who I am without risking his entire world crumbling around us both.
But if he won’t accept any other option, then that means I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place, torn between my family that I had no choice being born into and what could be the love of my life.
