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“Hey now. Am not!” he teases back.
“Okay, are we going to do this or what?” I ask, trying to snap myself back to reality.
We both decide that on the count of three, we throw as hard and as much as we can, and as soon as the rolls are gone, we’re running back to his place.
“Alright. Ready? One, two, three . . .”
* * *
I can’t believeit’s already Monday again. Things with Zayn have at least given me a nice break from the Sunday scaries. Although, I’ve been so paranoid about getting arrested after toilet papering Nick’s house.
This town is so small, I’m shocked there weren’t any witnesses.
Before the WOLO list, our senior year of high school, there was a night of pranks that everyone was invited to participate in. Summer tried to convince me that they hadn’t gotten into any trouble when she’d done it as a senior, but I wasn’t willing to take a risk. While I knew then it was harmless, I still never wanted a chance at trouble.
It hits me that I’ve spent almost my entire life until now rarely taking risks.How boring am I?
“Ms. Parker, who’s next?” A kid shouts at me, pulling me away from my thoughts.
“Oh, um, let me see here,” I say looking down at my notepad with the list of student names on it. “Riley Mitchell.”
Riley stands up and grabs a poster from her cubby. As she begins to walk up to the front of the room to share her thoughts on why she should be elected for student council this year, she looks directly at me.
“Uh, Ms. Parker, can we chat in the hallway really quick?” Her Zayn-like eyes stare at me.
“Right now?” I ask.
“Yes, please,” she says.
This isn’t very much like Riley to ask. I hesitate for a moment. “Uh,” I clear my throat, trying to gauge whether the other students can handle this. “Sure, but just for a minute.” I stand up and announce to the class, “Alright everyone, please share with your table partner who you feel has the most persuasive argument so far.”
I cross my fingers knowing damn well that chaos will probably ensue the minute I step into the hallway with Riley. But she needs me, or else she wouldn’t have asked.
She makes it out into the hallway first and faces the door.
Propping the door slightly open with my foot, I whisper to Riley, “Everything okay?”
She sighs. “Ms. Parker, I don’t know if I can do this. What if no one likes what I have to say? What if I forget what I’m supposed to say? So, is it too late to change my mind? Can I back out?”
Ah, anxiety. My dear old friend. “Okay, first thing, I want you to take a really deep breath in through your nose and release it through your mouth. Let’s do it together,” I suggest.
We both inhale simultaneously through our noses before pushing it out through our mouths. “One more time,” I say.
“Wow, that actually helped more than I thought it would,” Riley says.
“Right?” I ask. “I was so shocked the first time I did it, too. But I’ve had anxiety pretty much my whole life, so I get that it’s more than just presentation jitters.”
She nods and looks right at me. “My chest feels so . . . I don’t know.”
“Tight?” I ask.
“Yes. I really feel like I can’t do this,” she tells me. Her eyes show a glimmer a fear and sadness. “I’m just gonna embarrass myself.”
I place my hand on her shoulder. “Well, I’m certainly not going to pressure you into doing something you don’t want to do.”
She nods.
“But I know this is something youdowant to do. You’ve been talking about it for weeks, and not just at school. Your dad told me this is something you’ve wanted to do since fourth grade. Is that true?” I ask.
