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She nods, her head bobbing like she’s trying to stay focused on the tasks and not slip into the trauma.
“Do you have a toolbox? And maybe a dustpan. We shouldn’t be walking all over this.” I point to the glass.
“Yeah … yes, I can do that.” Having a task delegated to her seems to snap Cassandra out of the fog that threatens to pull her under.
For the next forty minutes or so, we clean up the damage. I patch the window, and Cassandra calls the security company that did her house in California. It’ll be a bit much to outfit this place with that level of security, but I’m all for whatever makes her feel safe.
“They can install in two days.” A flicker of a smile, but I sense the worry behind it.
“Well, at least we did all we could. You have the pepper spray, and … look, my parents have a handgun and a stun gun. I can bring one or both over if it makes you feel—”
“No. I don’t want to have to use either of those things.” She shivers.
“Do you know how to?” I’m curious but also worried about what happens if someone comes back here.
“Of course I do. You can’t work in movies as long as I have and not be forced to take weapons training.”
Thickly, I swallow, because I can only imagine some of the craziness she’s seen. She walks into the small kitchen, fiddling with things. Our work is done, and I know I’m idling, but I can’t seem to work up the balls to ask to stay or the will to leave.
“Do you think this could have been a fan who discovered you were staying in town?” I wonder aloud.
Cassandra sighs. “Maybe? Although from the whispers I heard, I don’t think so. I’ve signed some autographs here and there, posed for pictures. As I suspected, the people in this town don’t associate me with fame, but with my father, so there hasn’t been an influx of press about my whereabouts. I suspect that’ll change soon, but I kind of like this stage before the other shoe drops.”
“It’s shocking to me that no one has called in the reporters. Don’t let this go to your head, but you’re one of the biggest actresses in the world right now. How this town is not blowing up your spot because of that remains a mystery to me.”
She studies me, a small smile on her lips. “You forget that you’re the biggest celebrity in this town. They never cared about me. Now their pride won’t let them fawn over me, not that I ask for that at all. I’ve always been a more private ‘celebrity,’ though calling myself that seems so obnoxious. Notice how the press kind of forgot about me over the years, except when it comes to my projects? That was a well-executed plan. I don’t need my private life put on blast.”
“I get that. It’s funny that they haven’t noticed you’ve gone MIA. When was the last time one of your movies came out?”
“Keeping tabs on me, Patrick? You’re one of the only people to voice that I haven’t worked in a while.” That seems to surprise and irk her.
“Why haven’t you?” I ignore the fact that I just admitted I keep up with her activity. “On screen, you’re …”
If I tell her how captivating she is, I think it’ll freak both of us out.
She walks to the small window above the sink and looks out, as if temporarily distracted by some conundrum.
“Even before my father died, I felt lost. I love acting, but everything that comes with it is just exhausting. Nothing holds joy for me anymore. I can’t stand being around fake people in a city so fake, I’m not even sure the weather isn’t manufactured. I long for space and nothingness. So I stopped taking calls, started traveling. But I couldn’t find anywhere I fit until I got here, that is. Even with the way people think about my family, there’s this sense of comfort. Or there was.”
“Can you stay here tonight?” I ask, hoping she tells me the truth.
Cassandra’s back is to me, her hand resting on the counter, but I see her shoulders rise. “I’m not sure.”
“I’ll stay.” It comes out immediately, and I don’t want to take it back.
Her eyes fly to mine as her head swings over her shoulder, scarlet hair flying with the motion. “You don’t need to do that.”
“You just said you can’t stay here alone. I’m not going to leave you if you’re scared.” Plus, even if today was a miserable slot of events, spending it caring for her has been better than any day I’ve had recently.
“I’ll go to a hotel or something, I’ll make sure I’m around other people, or …” Cassandra looks so unsure that I cross the small room and reach my hand out so it rests on her shoulder.
“I think we both know that won’t really work. Let me help, please? I’ll sleep on the …” I trail off, looking at the dismal couch in the living room.
“Yeah, the one I ordered is delayed. I wouldn’t risk sleeping on that thing, your back might curse me for the rest of time.”
“I don’t mind,” I lie, trying my best at a poker face because I can only imagine the springs that will protrude into my spine if I sleep on that.
“I’m the actress here, remember? You’re pretty shit at it. The bed is brand new and we’re not children. If you’re offering to stay, and I think it might be a bad idea to accept, but I’m so jumpy I can’t say no, then you can sleep on the other side of it. I’ve done enough fake bedroom scenes that I’m used to sharing a bed with men I’m not with.”
