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CHAPTERTHREE
LINCOLN
Ididn’t try to stop him when he jerked his hand free of mine and tried to climb out of the opposite side of the bed. I’d been expecting the move and had spent the better part of the time I’d watched Theo sleep after I’d treated his badly infected arm trying to decide what approach to take with him. I couldn’t say I was exactly proud of what I was about to do, but none of this was about me.
Even if learning the truth had gutted me.
I had my nursing cap on because that was what Theo needed whether he liked it or not.
“Your bag is in here,” I calmly said as I began cleaning up the little bit of blood that had spurted onto the comforter and me when Theo had inadvertently pulled out his IV.
As expected, Theo stilled. He’d managed to swing his legs over the bed but based on the way his head was hung, I doubted he’d even try to stand. Based on his earlier bout of retching, his stomach wasn’t about to give in to his brain’s demand to escape. Still, I found myself slowly getting to my feet so I could reach the other side of the bed to catch him if his legs did actually process the command to move.
I fully expected Theo to demand I get the bag for him, but he surprised me by staying perfectly still.
And silent.
That worried me… it worried me a hell of a lot more than him trying to escape the room and, likely, the house.
“What do you want?” the young man finally asked.
I settled myself into an easy chair that was only a dozen feet from the bed.
Close enough that I could reach him if I had to but far away enough to give him the space he obviously needed.
“The truth,” I responded.
Theo let out a rough-sounding laugh that had nothing to do with humor. He shook his head, but I doubted the move was meant in response to my request.
He went silent for a long time. The room felt warm, but I wished I could get another blanket around him because I knew how cold he felt inside. Secrets had a way of doing that to you.
Guilt too.
Lincoln, please…
I forced the all-too-familiar plea back into the shadows of my mind and focused on Theo.
“It was an accident,” he finally said. “I’m not a suicide risk.”
I sighed because that one answer told me so fucking much.
For starters, his response meant he’d seen medical professionals, likely ER and mental health staff, for the same thing I was still coming to accept as fact, even after seeing the proof on his arm for myself.
Secondly, it meant this wasn’t his firstaccident. It wasn’t the first time he’d cut his own skin too deeply.
And third, he’d already lumped me in with all the other health care providers who’d likely fed him the standard lines that they were required to up until the point he declined treatment and then he’d just been…forgotten.
Dismissed as just another lost soul.
Theo sat completely still, his injured arm cradled against his abdomen. When I’d undressed him hours earlier after he’d fallen asleep, I’d left his underwear on, so he wasn’t naked in the traditional sense.
But hewasexposed in so many other ways.
There were a million things I could have said to him to try and put him at ease like the other health care professionals he’d seen before, but the words wouldn’t pass my lips.
I ran my fingers through my long hair—a self-soothing move I hadn’t resorted to in a while. It was one of the reasons I kept my hair tied back most of the time.
“It’s easier with strangers, isn’t it?” I finally asked.
