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No, Theo himself was the place. He was our home.
What were the chances of that happening all on its own? Pure coincidence? A couple of weeks ago, that was probably what I would have decided, but now my thoughts were leaning in a different direction. Was it so wrong to think that maybe my brother had been there at my side all these years like he’d promised he would, helping me get through each day until I could find the one soul I needed above all others? Maybe Rabbit had been the reason why things had ended up like they had after he’d taken his last breath.
“Lincoln?”
The sound of Theo’s quiet voice and the tightening of his hand brought me back to the present. I looked over to see that Nacho was gone.
“A sound scared him off,” Theo said before I could ask. “We should head back. Everyone will be having breakfast soon.”
I nodded and climbed to my feet before pulling Theo to his.
“Are you okay?” he asked as he watched me in confusion.
I didn’t blame him. I was feeling rattled because all the little decisions that had led me to come to Pelican Bay and take on Walter’s care were running through my head. I rarely did one-on-one care anymore, preferring to work in hospice care settings where there were support staff, rotating shifts, and my own quiet apartment to return to every night. Yet when the agency that hooked me up with different nursing homes and palliative care units had called and told me about a live-in job in a tiny no-nothing of a town that saw more snow in a year than I had in my entire life, I hadn’t said no right away. I’d listened as the coordinator at the agency had explained that the family in need were having a tough time keeping a live-in nurse to care for an elderly patient with several medical issues. The job paid less than I normally made, I hadn’t seen the house or room I’d be living in, I hadn’t had a clue about the town itself, and I hadn’t met or even talked to the patient or family.
Yet I’d said yes.
I’d had every reason to say no but before I’d been able to speak the word, this weird feeling of rightness had settled over me like a comforting blanket.
And now here I was. What if that moment that I couldn’t truly explain had been something…more? Was it so unreasonable to believe there’d been some force out there that had given me a gentle nudge toward the tiny little town, chaotic family of men, and crotchety old patient? And ultimately to Theo?
“Lincoln?” Theo called again.
Shit, how long had we just been standing there, me lost in thought and Theo wondering where the hell I’d gone?
“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked.
I smiled. “I’m great,” I said. I probably looked like an idiot, but I didn’t care.
“I’ll tell you about it later,” I said to Theo, but instead of dropping his hand as I began the trek through the woods, I listened to my little brother telling me to fuck that shit about the trees slowing us down if I held Theo’s hand.
I let out a soft laugh as I realized I’d spent years trying not to hear my brother’s voice in my ear but there it was, loud and clear, and I knew it my gut it was here to stay.
And if that wasn’t a miracle in itself, I didn’t know what was.
CHAPTERTWENTY
THEO
Iwas riding a natural high like I’d never known as Lincoln and I walked back to the house hand in hand. I knew we’d need to separate by the time we reached the house, but it felt like every cell in my body was rejecting the idea. Would it really be such a bad thing for anyone who might be outside to see me and Lincoln holding hands?
And when they ask if you two are seeing each other?
The ugly little voice in my head had me abruptly stopping. I hadn’t heard that damn voice even once since Lincoln had found my shivering, fully clothed body in the shower two days earlier.
I cursed its re-emergence at the same time that I welcomed it. I couldn’t get used to this.
Not to holding Lincoln’s hand.
Not to reveling in a stray dog giving me his trust even though I hadn’t done anything to earn it.
Not to being excited to join a group of men for what would be yet another loud, raucous, ridiculously hysterical meal.
I was leaving in less than two weeks. I wasn’t a part of the family of men who’d welcomed me into their home. Even though I now knew I wanted it, I couldn’t have a future with Lincoln.
Not wouldn’t.Couldn’t.
Lincoln still knew nothing about the real me and the things I’d done. If he did, he’d be horrified. He’d be disgusted. He’d never look at me the same way again. He’d never touch me or make me laugh or just sit by my side to watch something as simple as the sun rising.
