AllFreeNovel
Share Us
It had taken every ounce of willpower for me not to go to him right away. The fact that he’d gone to Double D’s and stayed there had given me some insight into his thinking. At first, I’d assumed he’d just panicked because of what had happened with Sawyer’s ex, Marcus. But as hour after hour had passed and the car hadn’t moved, I’d started to think differently. Yes, he could have easily left the car at Double D’s and then walked away and disappeared, but my gut hadn’t been on that track.
Since I’d been using Cam’s phone to monitor Theo’s location, the cop had done me a favor and called one of the police officers in Amsterdam. The officer had driven by Double D’s a couple of times during his patrol and had reported back to Cam each time that Theo was still with the car and doing nothing more than sitting on the hood of it.
I’d hoped giving Theo some time to himself would have him heading home but as darkness had started to fall, I’d asked Cam to give me a ride to Double D’s.
I hadn’t been sure what to expect but when I’d realized that the events of the morning hadn’t been the only thing Theo had been thinking about, I’d known it was time for me to make him understand how deep my feelings for him truly ran.
I sighed as I rolled onto my back.
Even though Theo and I hadn’t talked on the way home, I’d intentionally had him turn my phone on so he’d see the number of calls and texts trying to reach him, not only from me but the entire family. He’d glanced at the notifications that had popped up but then he’d simply put the phone back in the cupholder.
Once we’d reached the house, everyone had still been up. Theo clearly hadn’t been expecting the reception he’d gotten because he’d gotten paler and paler with every member of the family who’d hugged him and told him they were glad he was home. He’d been stiff as a board by the time he’d gotten around to Ford, who’d held Theo for a long time as words of gratitude for protecting Riley had poured out of his mouth. Fortunately, Ford had noticed his friend’s tension and had released him and urged him to get some rest. We’d both been sent upstairs with a plate piled high with sandwiches, but I hadn’t been hungry, so I’d given them to Theo. He hadn’t looked interested in them either, but he hadn’t fought me on taking them. I hadn’t been able to completely let him go, so I’d lightly brushed my mouth over his and wished him a good night.
That had been several hours ago, and while I’d gone through the motions of getting ready for bed, I’d known that I wouldn’t sleep a wink.
I’d be too busy listening for Theo’s bedroom door to open as he made another attempt to run.
As I stared at the ceiling, I thought about what to do next, but nothing came to me.
Well, not quite.
Nothingcame to me, butsomeonedid.
I heard a soft knock on my bathroom door before it was carefully opened. I immediately sat up at the sight of Theo. I was about to ask him if he was okay when he suddenly stepped into the room and stopped right next to the bed. While I couldn’t see his expression, his body language spoke volumes. He was hunched in on himself and he had a throw blanket drawn around his body. He was still wearing the same clothes he’d had on during the day.
Thankfully, my instincts took over and I quickly pulled the covers back on the empty side of the bed. I moved over enough that I wouldn’t crowd him. He climbed into the bed and turned his back to me. I leaned in to draw the blanket over him but when I went to move back to my side of the bed, Theo held on to my arm. He tugged it until it was wrapped around his midsection. I scooted over enough to line our bodies up but made sure to keep my lower half from touching his.
Neither of us spoke for so long that I was sure Theo had fallen asleep, but when he began running his fingers up and down the arm I had across his body, I knew he wasn’t.
“I told you the place my parents sent me was really bad,” he murmured. “They called it a ranch and from the outside it looked like any other camp. I even saw the brochure once. Kids smiling as they canoed or rode horses. Group pictures that looked like Bible study sessions. A fancy cafeteria with flower centerpieces on each table and loads of fresh fruit in baskets all over the place.” Theo paused a moment before adding, “It was all a lie. No horses, no canoes, no cafeteria. The Bible study stuff was sort of true, I guess. But we always went over the same passages and listened to the same warnings about going to hell if we continued to give in to the devil’s temptations.”
I remained silent as Theo spoke because this wasn’t something I could do for him. Not only was he trusting me with his truths, but he was also testing me.
“Most of the kids gave in after a few months. They’d proudly announce to the rest of us that they’d found God and His light had healed them of their unnatural desires. Being locked in tiny rooms with just a bed and a toilet will do that to you, I guess. We got to eat together in the real cafeteria, which was just a bunch of metal tables and chairs and some slop they called food being dumped on your plate as you walked past the buffet. There was no talking allowed. Not during meals, not during chores like washing dishes and doing laundry. If it was warm enough, we got to have some of the Bible study sessions outside, but there were always lots of orderlies posted forour safety.”
Theo let out a harsh laugh and then went silent for a few moments before continuing.
“There was no TV, but they had a library. All appropriate Bible-related books, of course. I think I read every single book in there at least half a dozen times.”
“How many books were there?” I asked.
“Three hundred and twenty-seven,” Theo responded without hesitation. “I spent the first year marking up the books so I could show Father Abbott the hypocrisies I’d found. I’d actually thought he’d be interested in discussing them. A lot of them didn’t even have anything to do with sexuality. I just wanted answers. I guess I liked proving that none of it was as simple as black and white.”
“He wasn’t interested in discussions, was he?”
“Yeah, he was interested in them. He was interested in making me erase every note I’d made wherever I’d been smart enough to use pencil. For the books I’d marked up with pens, I had to do extra work to pay to replace them. Mostly cleaning. I also only got half the amount of food that everyone else got. It was just grunt work. Sometimes I didn’t even mind it because it broke up the day more.”
Theo stopped exploring my arm and twined his fingers with mine.
“They asked us every day if we’d been saved by God and absolved of the sin of homosexuality. Since no one had proven to me that being gay was actually a sin, my answer was always the same. Back then I believed the true sin would have been to stand up and lie. Since my parents wouldn’t even come visit me because I was still sinning, I had no place to go anyway. One year passed, then two. By then the truth was all I had. It was the one thing they couldn’t take from me.”
I closed my eyes as I remembered Theo’s statement about having everything taken from him.
“I figured that once I turned eighteen, they couldn’t legally keep me there. That was another truth Father Abbott chose to ignore. I think I’d become like some personal mission for him. Hehadto break me.
“When I realized they weren’t going to let me leave after I turned eighteen, I tried to escape. I never made it past the guards during the first attempt, but I almost made it to the highway a few miles away on the second one. That was when I was moved to The Tower.”
“The Tower?” I asked.
