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THEO
As soon as I heard the heavy footsteps coming down the hallway, I felt like I was going to throw up the few sips of tea I’d had while I’d been sitting at the kitchen table waiting for him.
Cam was clearly surprised when he saw me, but he didn’t miss a beat as he made his way to the coffeemaker. Fortunately, the coffee machine was the kind that made the coffee itself at a certain time in the mornings, so I hadn’t had to worry about trying to make it on my own for Cam. It would have been just as easy to let the man make his own coffee while I waited, but I’d been afraid that if I’d been given any opportunity to lie about why I was in the kitchen so early in the morning, I would have taken it and run.
“Morning,” Cam said. The man wasn’t a behemoth of a guy or anything, but he was tall and well-built and that, combined with the uniform he was wearing which included a holster with a gun in it, made the kitchen feel small.
He mademefeel small.
“Morning,” I managed to get out, but I barely even recognized my own voice. I’d cried so much the night before as Lincoln had held me that my eyes burned and my throat felt like it had shriveled up into nothing.
I didn’t need to be looking at Cam to know what he was thinking. There was a reason I’d carefully extracted myself from Lincoln’s embrace long before the sun was even ready to rise. While I’d cried myself to sleep the night before, it hadn’t taken a genius to realize that Lincoln had carried me to bed at some point. I’d woken up just before four o’clock and hadn’t been able to go back to sleep. With the way Lincoln had been wrapped around me, I’d felt his morning erection pressing against my ass. I’d waited for the searing pain to hit me, but it hadn’t come.
But I knew if he’d been awake, things would have been different. All he would have had to do was place a soft kiss against the back of my neck or graze my ear with his lips as he said good morning to me.
I could have gone back to my own bed but lying in Lincoln’s arms had made me feel safe.
And warm.
God, to wake up every morning feeling warm instead of slowly freezing from the inside out—what would that even be like?
It wasn’t something I’d ever know, and as I’d watched the minutes pass on the clock on Lincoln’s nightstand, I’d thought about the supposed man of God who’d taken so much from me one minute at a time. Degradation and cruelty for three years… just over a million and a half minutes. For what? So Father Abbott could prove to himself and anyone who would listen that he had the power to take the sins from sinners and make them pious and whole again?
The chair across from me scraping against the wood floor made me jump. I had to focus on my breathing as Cam eased himself into the chair. I could feel his eyes on my exposed arms. I’d purposefully taken off Lincoln’s Henley and had set it on my lap. The move had been an insurance policy. I’d always made sure no one ever saw my scars because they were proof that Iwasn’tokay like I always told everyone.
Like I’d told Cam and Ford when they’d come to the city to find me.
I needed people to know I wasn’t okay, and taking off the shirt that still carried Lincoln’s scent wouldn’t let me do what my brain always made me do.
I couldn’t run from them. Not sitting there in just my T-shirt and jeans.
I may as well have been naked.
“How are you holding up after yesterday?” Cam asked.
I was staring at the table. I’d purposely put both my arms on top of the table so that Cam would be able to see each and every scar that graced my skin.
Since I knew he was easing me into conversation by bringing up the attack by Sawyer’s ex, I nodded and said, “Okay.” I forced myself to lift my eyes. “How’s Riley?”
“Shaken up but he’s a strong kid. He’ll be okay. Thank you for what you did for him.”
I shook my head. “I didn’t do anything. I… I couldn’t help him get away. Sawyer got us out of there.”
“You helped Riley keep it together so he could make that phone call. You told him what to say. You held him in your arms and used your body to shield him as much as you could. Riley told us everything that happened from the moment that fucker walked into this room,” Cam said, his voice growing angrier as he finished his sentence.
There was a pregnant moment of silence as he took a long draw on his coffee, presumably so he could calm down.
“Tell me what you need from me,” Cam said, his voice once again even. He reminded me of Lincoln. They both had an innate need to protect. Cam was smart like Lincoln, too. He already knew I didn’t just happen to be up early and that I hadn’t randomly forgotten to keep my arms covered.
“I lied to you and Ford when you came to the city to see me,” I said. “Not about the stuff about me not blaming Ford and forgiving him… that was true,” I quickly clarified. “I, um, I lied about… about being okay.” I couldn’t help but drop my eyes. “I’m really, really not okay, Cam.”
Cam was silent for so long that I automatically looked up. I figured he’d been waiting for me to do just that because he responded the second our eyes met.
“Ford and I both knew that, Theo. Ford could see that something had happened to you, something pretty bad. He wanted to take you home with us then and there, but we knew we had to earn your trust first.”
I laughed. It was quiet and ugly. “I thought I’d gotten lying down to an art form, but everyone around here seems to see straight through my bullshit.”
“That’s because the people here care about you. Deeply. You became a part of this family the moment Ford asked me to see if I could find you. People who don’t give a shit about you prefer the lies. It means they don’t have to look past the words to see the real you or the real them.” Cam paused before adding, “I’m sorry, I know your parents are probably a different story—”
