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I narrow my eyes. I fucking know he is, and I know what it means too.
Of course he handles Maddoc’s dirty work.
But even knowing what he’s trying to tell me, having his big, imposing body loom over me, having him so close, makes me respond. My breath starts to come faster as I react to him in ways I shouldn’t, not now that I know the truth.
But I can’t help it… and I can’t stop it, either.
Heat spreads through me, my body craving his. Like it knows, remembers, that every time he’s ever been this close to me, he’s either made me scream with pleasure or…
Or he’s made me feel safe.
But I’m not, and it’s like a dash of cold water.
I turn my face away, blinking fast as that’s ripped away from me too.
It was one thing to know I’d be leaving him, all of them, once we got Chloe back. That was my choice, and I accepted the loss—accepted that I’d miss Dante, Maddoc, and even Logan, no matter how stupid it was to develop feelings for men like them—because I had to. I had to give Chloe a fresh start.
But this is a different kind of loss. This is being smacked in the face with the truth and realizing that nothing here was ever mine to lose. That none of it wasreal.
Dante trails his hand over my cheek, then digs his fingers into my hair and grips my skull, forcing me to turn back and meet his gaze.
“I’m Maddoc’s second,” he repeats forcefully, holding me tightly enough that I can’t look away this time. “I’m loyal to him to the grave. I have killed for him, and I’ll do it again. Every time he’s asked me to take someone out, I’ve done it without question.Everytime, princess. It’s my skill set. It’s what I do. It’s what I’ll always do for my brothers.”
I know.
I even understand.
Loyalty is Dante’s lifeblood, it’s what the Reapers stand for and it’s what attracted me to him, just as much as the darkness that lives inside him and the light he brings to the surface did. So yes, I get it.
But he didn’t say no.
He didn’t tell me heisn’there to kill me.
And while I might be moments away from death right now, I’m not sure if it’s knowing that, or how fucking much it hurts to be reminded that he’ll always pick his brothers over me, that has my stomach dipping, my breath coming in short, shallow pants, my eyes squeezing closed in denial again.
He may not let me turn, but I’ll be damned if I watch it coming.
Dante’s fingers flex, moving through my hair like a caress. Then he brushes them across my closed eyelids… trails them softly over my cheek… traces my lips ever so lightly before dragging his fingers down to my throat and resting them over my fluttering pulse.
“Look at me, Riley,” he says, and I instinctively obey him and do it. He stares into my eyes with an intensity that has my breath hitching. “I don’t want to kill you. I’ll never want that.”
I swallow hard. I… believe him. Maybe it’s because he used my name instead of calling me “princess,” or maybe it’s just wishful thinking, but I do.
And I also know that telling me he doesn’t want to isn’t the same as saying he won’t.
I suck in a ragged breath, my shoulders aching from being pulled above my head for so long and a stinging pressure behind my eyes that makes me feel both weak and angry.
Dante opens his mouth like he’s got more to say, but I shake my head.
He can kill me if he has to, but he doesn’t get to see my tears. He doesn’t deserve them.
“Don’t,” I whisper, turning my face away from him again.
This time, he lets me, and I hate how grateful I am for that. But even if whatever had started to grow between the two of us before all this shit went down actually meant something to him, he’s still planning on helping Maddoc and Logan use my sister for the Reapers’ benefit.
He still lied to me. Betrayed me. Used me to get to her in the first place.
Because, as he just made a point of reminding me, his loyalty lies with Maddoc, and if Maddoc has decided I need to die for putting a bullet in his shoulder tonight…
