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I suddenly remember that the Reapers were part of that gang shoot-out at the little bodega Chloe and I used to go to, near our old apartment. It was pure chance that neither of us were there at the time, so Dante can preach about how “different” they are until he’s blue in the face, but I’ve lived in Halston all my life and the truth is it just isn’t a safe place to live. Not in the parts Chloe and I can afford, at least. It’s honestly a bit of a miracle that this is the first time we’ve really been caught up in the violence the city seems to thrive on.
Dante gives me an assessing look. “There are dozens of street gangs, large and small, here in the city. More even than Madd bothers to show on that map. And there’s always gonna be some fucker trying to make a name for himself, to create an organization that will rise to power. But trust me, princess. The way Maddoc runs shit really is different.”
“Trust you?” I snipe in self-protection… because god help me, I realize that that’s exactly what my instincts want me to do.
Dante’s eyes go soft again, and I want to fucking smack him for confusing me.
Or else crawl onto his lap, straddle him, and thank him properly for it.
“After the Crows sent me in,” he goes on before I can embarrass myself by doing any of the above, “it didn’t take me long to realize that helping them take the Reapers down would just turn into yet another bloody battle in a never-ending war, ripping this city apart a little more every day. But if I helped the Reapers rise to power instead? That’s actually gonna end up keeping the city safer, because unlike fucktards like McKenna who don’t give a shit about collateral damage, Maddoc does. He’s not ever gonna hesitate to do what he has to, but at the end of the day what matters most to him is his people. And he’ll do fucking anything for the people he cares about. It’s why I’m ride or die.”
A sharp pain spikes through my heart, and I snort, looking away. “Yeah, well, that’s all well and good unless you’re someone like me. Someone he’s willing to destroy to help the people he cares about.”
Dante grabs my chin and turns me back to face him. “I get why you may not see it right now, but you’re in that second category, princess. Not the first. Maddoc cares.”
I shake my head, brushing him off. I don’t want to hear it. Sure as shit don’t want to think about it or get fooled into believing it again. So I change the subject back to him. “What did the Crimson Crows do when you betrayed them?”
Dante’s eyes gleam, his normally laid-back smile turning sharp. “What do you think, princess? They went down.”
“You mean, you took them down.”
“Wetook them down. The Reapers did. The shit I knew about their organization helped Madd turn the tables on them. He destroyed their entire organization, claimed their territory, and accepted allegiance from every one of their former members who were smart enough to realize that shit was all for the best.” He holds up his right hand, tapping his thumb. “You know those gaudy rings West Point wears?”
I nod. I’ve seen them. The initials WPG in chunky gold that looks more like brass knuckles than jewelry. The goons who our father brought to our apartment when he sold Chloe out all had them on.
“Well, the Crows marked their members with something similar,” Dante says. “Tattoos instead of rings. Two black interlocking Cs on the thumb. The day I got rid of those, something inside me finally feltright.”
I want to tell Dante to shut the fuck up. To stop opening up and sharing real feelings with me. It’s just one more way he’s adding to the confusing mix of emotions I can’t make sense of around him anymore.
But I also want to know more. I want to know everything.
I reach out and stroke my finger over the gorgeous red dagger on his thumb. It’s centered over an ice-blue infinity symbol that, now that I know what used to be there, I can tell must perfectly mask the original interlocking Cs. “Why this?”
Dante’s quiet for long enough that I almost think he’s not going to answer. That maybe he’s regretting opening up to me too. But then he speaks again.
“I wanted fucking color in my life,” he says, his voice full of an intensity I don’t often hear from him. “The dagger is for my father. My past. Everything I came from. And this…” He traces the figure-eight of the infinity symbol, his fingers brushing against mine. “…is how I felt once Madd taught me what loyalty is truly about. It’s without beginning and end. Calm and sure. I’ve got a future now. A sense of purpose.”
I swallow hard, something aching inside me. Longing.
“With the Crows, I was part of something,” Dante goes on, “but it wasn’t a family. I hadn’t had that since my dad died, and I didn’t find it again until I finally got here. This is my place in the world, where I’m meant to be, and Logan and Maddoc, those two just get me. They see my darkness, they see all the messy colors, and they understand all of it. They accept it, and we just fit, you know? They’re…”
“Your brothers,” I whisper as his voice trails off, my heart aching a little.
Dante gives me a crooked smile that’s more real than any I’ve seen on his face before. “Yeah, they are. But they’re even more than brothers too. Like I said, we’re ride or die.”
The ache inside me builds and builds. I want that too. I want it so bad it hurts. It’s part of the reason I miss Chloe so hard, but even though sheismy ride or die, Dante’s talking about something more than what I’ve had with her in my life, when it’s always been just the two of us against the world. He’s talking about something bigger. Being part of something that’s more than any of its parts. A family group dynamic stronger than blood.
The kind of family that’s forever.
I do my best to keep the longing inside me off my face, but I know I fail when Dante tips my chin up.
“Princess?” he asks, his gaze burrowing deep.
I force a smile. “You’re lucky to have Maddoc and Logan in your life.”
He nods, serious. “I am. I’ve almost never met anyone else who gets me the way they do.”
“Almostnever?” I tease, pretty sure he’s misspoken since I’ve seen the three of them together.
