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Their voices drop too low for me to keep following the conversation, but I know Dante’s right about how Maddoc feels about loyalty, and I’m not sure I want to hear how he reacts to Dante standing up for me like that. Not when my own reaction is confusing enough.
My hands are shaking and my mind is a fucking mess, so I slip up the stairs and head to my room.
Being alone with my thoughts probably isn’t going to help sort any of them out, but at least a little space will give me a chance to lay some more stones around my heart. Build up a good, solid wall between my fucked-up feelings and the three men in this house who twist them into such tangled knots, because nothing’s changed.
Our partnership is still temporary. They still want to use my sister once we find her.
And if there’s one thing that shit Dante said to Maddoc just now makes crystal clear, it’s that it’s not just the danger out on the streets I have to protect myself from right now.
I close the door to my bedroom and lean back against it, rubbing the ache in my chest.
Fucking Reapers.
17
LOGAN
Maddoc rapshis knuckles on the door jamb and walks into my room, a courtesy that I know is meant to avoid startling me, even though it’s unnecessary. I saw him coming on one of the monitors.
I swivel my chair around to face him and look up from the surveillance logs I was reviewing, my heart rate steady and my mind deliberately empty of everything but the facts on hand. The trail of digital breadcrumbs I’ve been following to try and determine how McKenna’s people got past ours today. How they got to Troy. To one ofours.
Rage surges inside me again, threatening that emptiness, but I automatically tamp it down and tuck it away where it won’t interfere with my focus before it gets out of hand. Emotional reactions can’t be avoided, but instead of letting this one out to create chaos and destruction, I do what I’ve become so adept at over the years and compartmentalize it. Store it away like fuel, ready to be lit on fire when it can actually be useful.
“Anything?” Maddoc asks, nodding toward the data on the monitor in front of me.
His rage is also admirably contained. Not being ruled by it is part of the reason he’s such a great leader. But it’s still there, visible to someone who knows him as well as I do by the tight set of his jaw and the pulsing veins at his temples.
“Nothing we can move on yet, but McKenna’s organization is sloppy. Iwillfind out how they got to him.”
But not necessarily what they learned from him. Troy took the knowledge of whatever they managed to torture out of him to his grave.
Maddoc’s lips tighten into a grim line, and he gives me a short, sharp nod. “I know you will, but it will have to wait.”
I school myself before I can show any surprise. Maddoc would never let anything get in the way of avenging his people, not unless it was the need to take care of the ones still living. He obviously has a reason to tell me to put my investigation into the West Point attack on hold, so I wait for it.
“I’ve got to go deal with some shit at our borders in the aftermath of Troy’s death,” he starts.
My mind takes that statement and immediately races ahead, making a series of connections between the facts I’ve already uncovered about this attack and the status of our relations with the city’s other gangs. I mentally sift through what kind of message McKenna’s bold recklessness will send to both our allies and enemies, and after a moment, I’ve got a pretty good idea of what Maddoc intends to head out and take care of.
I nod, approving. He’s not just our leader because of his ruthless drive—although he definitely has that in spades—but also because of his talent for seeing the big picture and strategically looking ten moves ahead of everyone else.
Maddoc nods back, acknowledging that I’ve brought myself up to speed and don’t need him to elaborate with further details.
“While I’m gone,” he goes on, “I need you to figure out Chloe’s trail, especially where she’s been recently in relation to that bus depot she made that call from.”
“We need to track her down,” I say, weighing and rejecting different ideas on how to manage that when we haven’t been able to so far. But failure isn’t an option anymore. Gaining access to her inheritance will change everything, and if McKenna found out about it, if his people got that information from Troy before Troy died...
“Finding her just got more urgent,” Maddoc says grimly, following the same train of thought. “We don’t know what West Point knows now, but we sure as shit know what lengths they’ll go to. We need to find hernow, Logan.”
I nod. “I can—”
“Work with Riley,” he cuts in. “Get her in here and find out what insights she’s got about where her sister might be hiding.” He gestures toward the monitors on my desk. “You’re going to need her eyes on that to figure out where to focus your attention. What kinds of things Chloe might do when she’s scared. Where she’d feel safe.”
I stiffen, the idea of inviting Riley into my room without the buffer of my brothers here with us too makes me decidedly uncomfortable. It was different when I had her in here solely to stitch her up. That was a finite task with the added safeguard of her pain to hold her attention. But this space ismine. It’s where I come as close to relaxing and dropping my guard as I’ve ever been able to, and I’m not at all sure I’m ready to welcome her into my sanctuary.
Maddoc frowns, and just like I can see through his tells, I know he’s seen through mine.
“That’s fine,” I say quickly, realizing how foolish my hesitation is. “I’ll go get her now.”
