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A flash of anger surges across his face. “You’re saying my territory doesn’t matter? The gang I fucking bled for? TheReapersdon’t matter?”
“No. Never. I’m saying the opposite. The Reapers are the only thing that matters, but the Reapers aren’t your territory, Maddoc. The Reapers are your people. Buildings are replaceable. People aren’t. That’s what he doesn’t understand. He’ll blow that money and he’ll cause some damage, but you’ve got to play the long game. If you need to give up territory to keep the Reapers safe, you should do it, because he can’t break that. He can’t take it apart. They’re loyal to you, not to the streets you’ve claimed.”
He stares at me long and hard, his arms locked around my body like a vise. Then he lets out an explosive breath, some of the tension draining out of him.
He leans forward, resting his forehead against mine. “Where the fuck did you come from, butterfly?”
I twine my arms around his neck. “The real question is ‘where am I going,’ and you already know the answer to that.”
“No fucking where.”
I nod, repeating it like a promise. “No fucking where.You’remy territory. And I’m yours. The only thing that’s important is that we both, that all of us, live to fight another day.”
It’s always been my motto. It’s how I survived. How I built a life for Chloe. How I made it through my captivity and how I’m going to make sure that my men and I make it through this shit storm, whatever McKenna throws at us.
Maddoc’s eyes drift back to the map, and I can see that he’s still feeling tortured by what’s about to come at us. He’s a powerful man, and it must be hell for him to realize that, in one area at least, McKenna truly does have more power than he does right now.
Still, my words seem to have bolstered him a little bit, and it helps ease the ache in my heart from all the weight he carries.
“Promise me you’ll do that,” I whisper, drawing his attention again. “Promise me that no matter what, you’ll live to fight another day. That you’ll be here for me, and for your brothers, and the Reapers. We need you. You’re an amazing leader to your people, and I—”
My voice cracks, but he already knows.
“I promise,” he rasps, burying his face in my hair and breathing me in. He squeezes me tight enough to make my ribs ache, and he doesn’t let up, not for a long, long time.
And I don’t want him to.
I’ll always be willing to hurt for this man, and nothing on this earth will ever make me want him to let go.
21
MADDOC
I clingto Riley for a long moment, just needing to be close to her while that gut-wrenching promise settles between us. Needing to feel her softness, her nearness. Her love.
There was a time that this need would have made me feel weak, but that’s bullshit. Nothing about Riley is weak, and everything about her makes me stronger.
I don’t know if she’s right about me being a good leader, but I do know she’s right about my people. It’s the thing that makes me different than my father, the reason I’ve been able to build the Reapers, to earn their loyalty, when—for all his street smarts and connections—my father was never able to rise up in Halston’s underground.
I learned a lot from him, but some of the lessons were what not to do. And one of those, the one that I’ve never wavered on, is people first, always.
Keeping the Reapers who’ve pledged themselves to me alive is more important than anything, and it’s the worst fucking feeling in the world to know that I might have to give up what I’ve fought so hard for in order to make that happen, but I needed the reminder.
I fucked up. I’m not sure exactly how or where I could have done shit differently to put us in a stronger position right now, but if I’d been the leader Riley sees me as, the one I want to be, I wouldn’t be failing my organization the way I will be when I fulfill that promise I just made to my butterfly. I wouldn’t be faced with the choice that isn’t really a choice—to let Austin take what’s ours, or to protect the whole reason we exist. Our people.
Riley makes a soft sound, shifting on my lap, and I realize I’m holding her too tightly. I relax my arms a little and lean back, tipping her chin up. “You’re right. I hate it, but you’re right. Thank you, butterfly.”
“You never need to thank me,” she says, the love shining from her eyes almost eclipsed by her faith in me.
It’s almost painful to see, because failing the Reapers isn’t the only thing fucking me up right now. I failed her too. I let that son-of-a-bitch fuckingmarryher. Hearing him call her “wifey” tonight was like a knife between my ribs.
“I fucking hate the idea of you being with anyone but me and my brothers,” I growl, the truth bursting out of me as I dig my hands into her soft body, marking her, claiming her.
She gasps, and I know I’m hurting her a little.
I also know she’ll welcome it.
“I never will,” she promises, fire flashing in those bottomless whiskey eyes of hers. She doesn’t fight the bruising hold I’ve got on her. She leans into it, cupping my face again and staring right into my fucking soul. “Do you hear me, Maddoc Gray? I only belong to the three of you. You, Dante, and Logan.”
