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“You’re such a pussy, you know that?” I huff with impatience and shake my head when his gaze whips up to stop on mine. “I want to do those thingswithyou. What, are you on an airport watchlist and I don’t know? Never able to leave the continental U.S.? If you have a warrant out for your arrest, tell me! I’d love to hear the whole sordid story. I bet it was fun.”
“You make a joke of everything!” he snarls. “But the fact is, I could die on the job. Any day. Any shift. I could fall through a floor—again,”he points down at his leg. “But next time, I might break my neck. Then I’ll be stuck in a chair, or a bed, for the rest of my life. Unable to feed myself. Unable to shit or shower on my own, let alone do things foryouthat you deserve. I’d be a fuckin’ vegetable, and you’re too loyal to walk away and save yourself.”
“You’re catastrophizing! You are a fit, healthy, twenty-one-year-old firefighter. Jesus, Axel! Calm the hell down, and harden up. Men and women fight fires all across this country every single day. And most of them make it to retirement without a wheelchair.”
“What about without burns on most of my body?” He searches my eyes. “Or maybe I just can’t sleep anymore, because a few weeks ago, I pulled a baby girl out of the lake. She was dead, Han. She’ll never come back. But I had to attempt CPR before we could call it. Or what about the car we pulled off the tracks, and the dude who put them there in the first place? I see humanity’s worst, every single day, Sully, because people hurt people. I’m just the idiot who rolls in and tries to clean it up.”
“Well, it sounds to me like your problem isn’t with me and my age, but with a job you hate. So why am I copping the brunt of that?”
“Because I’m a firefighter! It’s who I am, right down in my fucking soul. It’s what I want to do, because people are gonna get hurt, and I wanna race the clock and save them before it’s too late.”
“So you willingly stay in this spin cycle? Hating the job, loving the job. Wanting me, but telling me to go away. Do you throw this shit on Nicole, too?”
“Hannah—”
“Because if I go to Europe and leave your sorry ass here, then you go ahead and break your spine, she’ll be next up to take care of you. You okay with that?”
“That’s diff—”
“You’re okay with becomingherproblem for life, but you won’t risk it with me?”
“I don’t want you to sit up all night worrying about me,” he groans. “And on the nights I’m home safe and sound, I’d rather you not sit up all night watching my insomnia while I overthink that baby girl in the lake. Or the kid trapped in his dad’s car. Or the woman I had to leave in a burning building, because I could only choose one, and she told me to save her daughter. This is the career I want, Han. That’s the choice I’ve made. But I don’t want you to pay the consequences for those choices.”
“Do you wanna know what I think?” I set the untouched cupcake on the table and press my hands to his thighs to stand. But I bend down again and meet his beautiful silver-gray stare straight on. “I think you need to talk to a therapist about all this trauma. You’re only a few years in, and already, you carry enough PTSD to compete with a four-tour war veteran.”
“No,” he shakes his head. “What I need—”
“Is a long, sweaty night between the sheets. An orgasm powerful enough to toss your insomnia out the window. What you need,” I lean closer, closer, until our lips are just a feather’s breadth apart. “Is to fuck until you can’t stand any longer. Then to turn over and hug me until you’re asleep.”
With my heart in my throat and nerves thick enough to choke a horse, I close the gap between us and press my lips to his.
For the first time in my life, we make that connection.
His tongue on my lips, and his breath in my lungs.
“Come see me tonight,” I whisper. “Sneak through my window and take the one thing we both know you really want.” I slip my tongue past my lips and tap his. Testing. Tormenting. “Broken leg or not, I’m confident you’ll be able to take care of business. Aren’t you?”
I’m wearing him down. Breaking his spirit in the best possible way. So when I glance down, not only do I see the bulge in his pants, but his hands wrap around my wrists and hold me close.
“One night,” I continue almost silently. “I won’t even mention a relationship. Or forever. Or love, though we both feel it. This can just be a nasty, dirty, one-night stand where you don’t have to worry about the future. After that…”
Tears fill my eyes when he leans forward and slides his tongue along mine.Reciprocation, finally.
“After that,” I choke out. “We’ll know.”
The bell above the door jingles, and Theo Griffin meanders into the shop, only to stop on a skid and trynotto notice Axel’s bulging cock. He looks anywhere but at my flushed face, or Axel’s pinning hands. “Uh… Sorry. I—”
“All good, Griff.” I straighten my spine and tug my hands from Axel’s grip. Then I leave him all alone as I circle the counter and come up on my side. The server. The worker bee. “How many do you want?”
“Er…” Wandering closer, he glances back at Axel with a raised brow. “A dozen.” Bringing his gaze back to me, he fakes a smile and sets his hand on the counter. “Please.” Then he nods toward the entryway that leads to the back of the shop. “Danes here?”
“Yeah. But he’s probably having sex, so maybe give them twenty before you knock.”
“On company time…” Chuckling, he reaches back for his wallet as I start boxing up a dozen treats. “Serving something special in the cake batter today, Ms. Sullivan? Or is the place always this hopped up with sex pheromones?”
My heart continues to pound. My nerves wreak havoc on my system, as I drag my bottom lip between my teeth and remember what it felt like to have Axel Feeney’s tongue there just a moment ago. But I keep working, quick and practiced movements, while Axel adjusts himself in his pants and cycles back through an existential crisis.
“Today’s just kinda special, I guess.” I close the box and set it on the counter, then stepping to the register, I ring up the sale. “Since you’re here, can we talk about my phone? It’s kinda glitchy lately, and it has that sexy lion logo on the back, so…”
