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Now that I’m grown, they forget I exist ninety-nine percent of the time, and when they do call, it’s always from some exotic locale with a time zone I have no chance of calculating.
All of that has created a daughter who wants predictability. Stability. A nine-to-five workday, and a menu stuck to the fridge at home so I know, on Thursdays, there’s a pretty good chance I’ll be eating sushi for dinner. Or Wednesdays, a loaded and baked potato with sour cream on top and a little salad on the side.
That’s not to say I don’t lash out sometimes and jump into the lake in the middle of the night. Or order Chinese food when I’m mid-shark-weekand craving an egg roll.
But Rome? Paris? The Eiffel fricken Tower?
I’ve never asked for those things.
“Hey, Han.” Viv looks up from her place on the couch as I walk through the front door and quickly shut it to keep the stench of smoke out, then she nods toward the television across the room, where a news reporter is shown on the scene of a local fire big enough to make my stomach hurt. “Did you see this yet?”
I peel off my coat and kick off my sneakers by the door before tossing my keys onto the table and making my way into the living room to sit on the arm of the couch.
Axel’s not working tonight, since wearing a cast on the job isno bueno. But that doesn’t stop my heart from racing a little faster as I catch sight of a fancy hotel in the middle of town, fully ablaze.
“It’s the Oriane,” she murmurs sadly. “Ya know, that new place?”
“Yeah.” I set my feet on the couch cushion beside Viv’s leg, and rest my chin in my hands as I watch the place burn to the ground. “It’s smokey as hell outside,” I mutter. “You can’t drive around without choking from it.” I draw a deep breath of clean air now that I’m inside, only to exhale again with a sigh, knowing this won’t help my argument when Axel says we can’t be together.
“It won’t be standing by morning,” I lament. “Ms. Mazzi will have to start again.” Then I glance down and look at my friend’s beautiful face. Wavy blonde hair, and electric blue eyes. Vivian is older than me by a handful of years, and far more accomplished in her work, compared to the lowly bakery assistant she shares a home with.
“It does look really bad,” she agrees. Reaching around behind me, she grabs a tall cup from the end table and brings it up so her lips wrap around the straw. “Axel’s not there, right?”
“No.” Done watching the devastation, I set my feet on the ground and push up to stand. “He won’t be on shift for six weeks at least. The doctor will have a better estimate once they remove the cast and replace it with a boot.” I shrug and start into the kitchen. “Instead, I invited him over tonight.” I tug the fridge open and work to ignore the nerves tickling my stomach. “Like, I kinda went big and told him to come bang meor else.”
Soft, choked laughter bubbles from the living room, then the television becomes muted so I no longer have to listen to the dangers that the firefighters inside the hotel are facing.
“And that’s different to how you normally end a dayhow?”
“I meant it.” I grab a soda and slam the fridge closed, then I move to the counter and peruse the mail that arrived today while I was out. The power bill I’ll pay two-thirds of, since I’m here significantly more than Viv is. Coupons for a pre-set meal box, where they send the ingredients, and we cook the food.
I flick past a postcard from Seattle—I guess that’s where my parents are this week—and toss it into a pile with the others: Australia. New York. One from Axe’s firehouse, like they think it’s cute to be in town sometimes and not drop by to see me.
“I told him to shit or get off the pot.” I brush the mail away, pick up my soda, and crack the top open. “I’m tiring of this hot-and-cold shit, Viv. It’s sending me insane. So I told him to come to me tonight and getthis,” I gesture down along my body, to indicate the tension within, “out of our systems. He wants me.” I look up and rest my hip against the counter when my best friend stops in the doorway. “And I want him. Like, it makes me sick how caught up I am on a man I’ve literally only ever kissed once.”
“Wait, you’ve kissed?” Her body jolts with the newfound information. “When the hell did you kiss? And why didn’t you tell me?”
“It just happened this afternoon.” I bring my trembling hand up and roll my bottom lip between my finger and thumb. “I’m telling you now. Besides, it was hardly a kiss. It was just…” I lift my shoulders. “My lips, touching his for a second. I licked him. He licked me.” My face warms at the odd, verging-on-awkward memory. “Then it was over. He neither pushed me away nor invited me closer. But I called him out on his shit and told him to come over for a one-night bang.”
“One night.” She laughs. “You’re not looking for a one-night stand, hussy. You want a white picket fence.”
“Yeah, but we both know he’s resistant to the idea. So we’ll start with the fling, and count on the power of poon to get the fence.”
“The power of poon,” she giggles. “You’re such a pig.” Pushing away from the wall and moving to the fridge at my back, she reaches in for a protein drink and then slams the door shut so the wine glasses on top rattle in place. “Do you think he’ll come?”
I sip my soda and snigger like a small child. “Hopefully more than once. Which means I’m gonna need you to make use of your headphones, okay?”
She rolls her eyes and pulls out a stool to sit down.
“I know I can be kinda brash and talk a big game,” I hedge, “but if he comes over based on my promises of chandelier-swinging good sex, I worry I might get a nasty case of stage fright.”
“How about I just leave?” she counters helpfully. “I’ll go someplace else for a few hours. Maybe head back to work. Colin wouldn’t mind a friend for the night, and you know Diesel likes to snuggle.”
“You’re just a regular bed-hopping hoe, aren’t you?” I reach across and flick her cute locks back off her face. “How does Colin feel about Diesel’s affections for you?”
“He hates it,” she snickers. “Fights him almost every single day, whether I’m watching or not. But we’re working on a harmonious existence. So long as I give thembothattention, they tend to get on with their lives and sulk in silence. Besides, I’ve been in touch with a new guy recently, too. Trey.” Her perfect bow lips curl up. “He’s as handsome as Satan himself, and has a reputation for wooing the ladies.”
“A foursome. What could possibly go wrong?” I pick up my soda and step away from the counter to peek at the silenced television in the living room.
