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“Yeah, well… Got rid of the crutches.” I look toward the two unfamiliar faces as they wander closer. “Dawson and Patrick?”
“I’m Dawson.” A dude, early to mid-thirties, with dark hair and equally dark eyes, steps forward and shakes my hand. “Heard a lot about our rookie firefighter.”
“Rookie, my ass.” But my smile remains as I turn to the sole female inside our firehouse. “That makes you Patrick?”
“Ivy Patrick,” she offers her hand and a kind smile. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“You too.” I shake her hand and block out the intrusive thoughts flittering through my mind. Like how Ivy stands about the same height Cootes used to. Or how her eyes are a similar shade. How her handshake is firm and confident. Like Cootes.
Fuck, but does everyone else here compare too, or is it just me?
“Feeney?” Lieutenant Rosa, my mentor, cuts through the middle of his crew and stops in front of me so we’re eye to eye. He doesn’t offer his hand to shake, instead studying me with slow sweeps. My legs. My torso. Then back up to my face. “I worried you wouldn’t come back.”
Emotion lodges in my throat and threatens to make me look a fool. So I cough it back and jerk a thumb toward the wall. “My turnouts are still here. Guess you subconsciously knew I would.”
“Looks that way.” Breaking his hard stance and taking a step forward, he wraps me in a hug that feels as good as if it came from my father.
If I were being honest with myself, I’d say it’s even better.
“I’m glad to see you, Feeney. I know Nic has that party coming up, so I was hoping you’d drop by.” Pulling back, he rests his hands on his hips as I reach up and fix my hat. “When’d you get in?”
“Night before last.” I nod toward the door that leads inside the station. Away from ears, and toward an office. “Can we talk?”
“Yeah.” He claps me on the shoulder and turns on his heels. “Keep playing without me,” he tells his crew. “We’ll be back soon. If we’re lucky, Axe might make a call and get us some Juniper cakes.”
I chuckle in the back of my throat and follow when he starts inside. “I’ll get it organized.” But I meet Rizz’s eyes and raise a brow. “Though, it’s easy to pick up the phone. My sister will answer your call, you tell her what you want, then you exchange what she gives you for money. Super simple.”
“Doesn’t taste the same unlessyoubring them in,” he jokes.
I roll my eyes and continue inside the station, following Nix all the way to the offices. But nostalgia turns to surprise when he steps into the chief’s office, and not his own.
I glance around, confused and wondering, as he crosses the room and plops his ass down on the other side of the desk.
“Close the door.” Then he gestures toward the visitor chair. “Take a seat.”
“Why… uh…” I chew on my bottom lip and shut the door to keep busybodies away. Turning, I study my former lieutenant and take a seat opposite him. “Why are you in the chief’s office?”
“Because Chief Collier is off with some health issues right now. He’s getting old and considering retirement.”
My eyes jump wide. “So you’re—”
“Acting chief, for right now. I’m holding down the fort while the brass decides what they wanna do with the budget.” Grabbing a pen from his desk, then crossing his leg over his knee and settling back, he looks me up and down. “Are you back for good, Axe? Or just long enough to tease us?”
I swallow the nerves sitting in my throat and sit back, too.He’s not my boss.Not my lieutenant, nor my chief; not in a position to look down at me and burn me with a stare. “I’m not really sure, to be honest.” I fold my ankle across my knee and play with a loose thread on the leg of my jeans. “I have no fucking idea what I wanna do with my life, Lew. I feel like I’m having a midlife crisis and have no clue which way to turn.”
He turns his pen. Spinning it between sure fingers. “You’re still a baby, Axel.Waytoo soon to be mid-life. But we miss you.”
“Lew—”
“You up and left us with no notice. Just…” he shrugs. “Ran. Cootes was gone, and you got spooked.”
“I wasn’t spooked. Not like… I’m not afraid to go into a fire, Lew. It’s not like that. I just needed space away from here. Away from Cootes’ memory. And away from…”Hannah. “Ya know,” I say instead. “Life.”
“So you ran to the forest crew and jumped out of a plane a few dozen times.”
My shoulders jump with an almost silent laugh. “A few hundred times. I jumped so much, I could do it blind and deaf.”
“Which is all great and good for you and the smoke jumpers. But what about us?” he demands. “What about the crew you left? Are you gonna come and go? Be with us during the winter, be with them in the summer? Because I gotta tell you, I’m not sure I have room for a man with one foot always out the door.”
