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But I don’t say as much. Not yet. I’m not ready to share my heart and soul with everyone on one night. “We weren’t suited for each other. Which is fine. I enjoyed our time, and he said he did too.”
“He didn’t wanna stick around for the free alcohol?” he chuckles. Pulling up to a corner, Raul looks right, then left, before turning. “The food was top-notch.”
I snort. “He ate. Had a drink. Then his sister called with some emergency at home. Toaster caught fire or some such thing.”
I wave when he glances across with a lifted brow. “He said everything was fine and that he’d text me tomorrow. So…” I drop my hand and shrug. “He left. Which was for the best, anyway.”
“And now you’re riding around with me.” An almost silent chuckle rolls along Raul’s throat as we turn another corner and head toward Gina’s home… I assume. “What’s going on with you and Axel?”
His words are gentle. Not probing. And his side-eye is almost afraid, like he thinks I’ll bite his head off.
“I care about you, Han.” He reaches across and pats my knee. “I care that you don’t get hurt again.” With both hands back on the wheel, he pulls out of a turn and continues along a winding street. “I know you were friendly back in the day. But I was there when he left.”
I firm my lips and shake my head. “I don’t wanna talk about it.”
“And I don’t want to find you crying in the loading dock at work again. I don’t want to see the devastation in your eyes, put there byhim. I know there’s history there, but surely, you remember how he made you feel.”
“I remember.” I cross my legs and set my elbow on the doorframe so I can look out at the night sky. “I’m never gonna forget.”
“So why are you sneaking around with him?” He hits the blinker and pulls into another street. Slow and steady, we wander town and head seemingly nowhere. “I’m here for your dating stories, Han. I wanna know about the guys who send you flowers and professes their love on the first date.”
I roll my eyes. “Alan sent flowers. He didn’t profess his love.”
“I want to know about the handsy guy. The nose picker. The lint collector.”
His chest bounces as my firmed lips curl into a shaking smile.
“Tell me all the horror stories. Write a freakin’ book about them and blast it all over the world, because these guys are always funny as hell. But this thing with you and Feeney…” Sobering, he shakes his head. “That’s not funny. It never was.”
He’s not wrong. He’s not even out of line.
I’ve shared every facet of my life over the last seven months with this man, purely because I needed a friend, and he proved himself trustworthy. Just like Jase, Raul is safe. Neutral. He’s my sounding board when I’m thoughtful, and my scapegoat when I’m frustrated.
He was my safe space when Axel left and Nic was grieving her brother’s absence while also reveling in her new love with Preston. He was my everything when my parents’ neglect grew more obvious, and when their postcards came from closer to town, but they still chose not to see me. He owned the arms that wrapped around me, giving me the hug I so desperately needed.
“I’m not trying to make this weird.” His phone beeps with a text, then the screen lights up and shows off Gina’s face and name. In response, he pulls off to the side and grabs the device with fast hands. “You know me.” Before unlocking the screen and reading his text, he turns in his seat and meets my eyes. “I’m here to support you. Whatever choices you make in life, I’m here for you. It just pains me to think you’ll repeat old patterns, all because this asshole has turned up again.”
He gifts me with a small smile while I think, unlocks his phone, and scans the text on his screen.
Typing something back in response, he locks it again and sets the device in the center console before pulling away from the curb and doing a U-turn.
“I don’t know what the right thing to do is.” I hate how my voice crackles. How tears sizzle in my throat, making me sound vapid and weak. “He was my closest friend for a really long time, Raul. He was who I genuinely thought I would grow old with.”
“But then he said those awful things and showed you who he really was beneath the mask.” He turns a corner, now that he has a direction to go. “They say, when a person tells you who they really are…” he glances across and waits for my eyes. “You should listen.”
“You don’t think there’s hope for us?” All the work I did with my makeup tonight becomes wasted when tears burn the backs of my eyes. “Do you think I’m being stupid and naïve, hoping we could do this properly now that he’s back?”
Thoughtful, Raul pulls onto my street and slows to a stop outside the home I share with Viv. Streetlights illuminate the road, and my front staircase is lit up to offer safe passage while wearing skyscraper heels and a dress that also acts as a tripping hazard.
“I think… I’m gonna trust you to be smart. And I’ll be around to wipe your tears in the loading dock if this goes wrong.”
Cutting the engine and turning to face me, he drags his bottom lip between his teeth and drops his gaze to my neck. To the marks I’m sure Axel left behind. “I’m going to hope for the best, for your sake, but prepare for reality.”
“And you think reality means disaster?”
When he says nothing, I swallow, look down at the purse hanging from my wrist, and nod. “You could be right.”
“And if I am,” he forces a faux-cheery smile and studies the side of my face. “I get to ride in a hero,Captain Always Right,and tell you I told you so.”
