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Always the comedian. I returned to his bed, the anger I felt still just below the surface. “You’re alive. That’s all that matters.”
He shifted, slowly pulling one arm from under the covers. The bruises were from earlier IVs, forcing a hard clench to my jaw. “You’re right but I feel like I was hit by a freight train.”
“You were.”
He was able to smile, which gave me hope. “How are things?”
“Things are okay. You need to get your rest.”
“Yeah. I know.” There was an intense sadness in his eyes and as he glanced away, I wished I could find the right words to ease his pain. But there was nothing that would help him as he endured the realization and final acceptance that he wasn’t cut out for the lifestyle.
“You should be out of here in a couple days.”
Five seconds ticked by.
Then fifteen.
“Then what? Are you going to banish me?” he asked with such heartache in his voice my throat clenched.
“You saved my life, brother. That alone secured a place in my regime.” I half expected him to laugh at my statement, his usual banter reminding me that I wasn’t God, no matter how I acted.
But he said nothing.
Then when he did, I was thrown by his question.
“Let me ask you something, brother. Have you ever made a decision you regretted?”
“More than one.”
The moment he shifted in bed, trying to ease to a sitting position, I gripped his arm, adjusting his pillows. “It’s the difficult, often futile decisions that create a leader.”
“You sound like Pops.”
“Well, he’s very wise.”
He lifted his head, staring into my eyes. “He has dementia. Doesn’t he?”
The question caught me off guard. I hadn’t realized anyone else in the family besides our mother had noticed. “Yes.” There was no sugarcoating the demon our father had been plagued with.
“Yes. It’s getting progressively worse.”
I was surprised when Nico laughed, although the sound was bitter. “We have a fucked-up family.”
“No more than most.”
“You’re fooling yourself if you really believe that.”
Maybe he was right. “Life is what we make it. Right?”
The way he stared at me reminded me of when he was a kid, looking up to his older brother for advice. Nico had tagged along like I was his hero. I’d been the typical older brother, acting like he was nothing but a nuisance. Today was one of those days that remembering was painful.
“Yeah. So I’ve heard. I’m tired, bro.”
Nodding, I took a deep breath. “Get your rest. You’ll need it.” I offered a smile before turning toward the door.
“Are you tossing me to the wolves?”
“You saved my life, Nico. You will always have a place.”
