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“I don’t think the rock in her chest has changed a bit,” I retort. “But I’m not too worried. I just need to not give the court a reason to think that we should share custody. I’m not making any missteps.”
Tyler stares at me intently, looking as if he’s trying to decide whether or not to say something to me before settling on, “Maybe going on a date will help you take your mind off things. Being less tense may make you look like a better parent in front of the court.”
“I’m already a great parent. And I don’t plan on seeing anyone at the moment. I don’t want the court to have to look into another person to make sure Archer is safe with me.” The idea of dating someone right now is not on my radar.
“Not even just to hookup? I think it could help loosen you up some,” Tyler teases, a mischievous grin on his face.
“I’m plenty loosened up. Besides, that’s easy for you to say. Not everyone can just go out and find their own Maria,” I counter, watching as a bashful smile appears on his face at the mention of his wife.
Maria is the levelheaded one in their relationship, always reeling Tyler back in when he’s acting childish, as she would say. While at times I’ve wished I could have something like what they have, I’ve never been jealous about it.
But I still sometimes wonder what it is that Tyler did right that he ended up with someone like Maria.
“That is true, she really is amazing,” he muses, looking as if he thinks he’s one of the luckiest men alive.
And I’m sure he does think that. What he has with Maria is amazing. But while some of us get Marias, others get Jessicas.
“I just want to know how you manage to go so long without getting laid. When was the last time you even tried going on a date? It’s been months, hasn’t it?” Tyler asks, seeming genuinely concerned for my well-being.
He’s right as far as he knows. I hadn’t been with anyone for a while. Until Monica.
I cringe at the thought. There’s no way I can tell Tyler that I have actually hooked up in the recent past with his baby sister.
“Yeah, it has been a while,” I mumble, getting a bad feeling in my stomach as I let the words leave my mouth.
I hate having to actively lie to Tyler like this. While before it was just keeping a secret, now I’m actually telling him I didn’t do something that I have done. I’m not sure that I’ve ever lied to Tyler like this before.
“Well, you should. If you don’t, you could end up as tightly wound up as Monica. She’s never brought a man around.”
Shit. Why did he have to bring her up? I can’t have any thoughts of Monica in my mind as I talk to Tyler. Those thoughts never seem family friendly. I can’t afford to be picturing such things while actively lying to my best friend about it.
“Yeah. Can’t have that,” I tell him non-committedly, hoping that he moves on from this topic.
But I don’t seem to be that lucky.
“How is she doing at work?” Tyler asks. “It was really nice of you to offer her that job.”
If only he knew other things I’ve done for Monica. I doubt he’d think of me as such a nice guy then.
“She’s doing alright. And it was no problem, she was qualified,” I explain, hoping the expression on my face doesn’t give away any of the discomfort I feel.
“Maybe she’ll meet a nice guy at work,” Tyler offers, and I have to try extra hard to keep my expression composed.
“Maybe,” I agree, though I don’t like the idea of Monica seeing anyone at all.
I know I shouldn’t feel that way since Monica is an adult and I don’t have any claim over her. But the thought of her with another man makes my blood boil.
I wonder if Monica has hooked up with anyone else since our time together.
Just imagining it has my breath stalling.
“Are you alright?” Tyler asks, looking at me with furrowed brows.
My eyes widen briefly before I clear my throat. “Yeah, I’m alright.”
But I know that’s a lie. Something has got to be wrong with me if I keep thinking about Monica this way. I’m not one hundred percent confident that I can keep my hands off her anymore. My body craves at least one more touch.
While I know I shouldn’t initiate anything, maybe if we were to end up somewhere alone, we’d find ourselves in the same predicament we found ourselves in last time.
