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I'm not surprised that he said that, but I am disappointed. While I know that coming clean would lead to a fallout between Jared and Tyler, they have a friendship strong enough to withstand it.
"I'm sure Tyler will get over it," I begin but am quickly cut off by his tense voice.
"It's not only Tyler. There's other stuff in my life that this could affect," he says to me tersely, and I'm taken aback at the harshness of his tone.
Since Jared and I have been seeing each other, he has only been kind to me. Anything even remotely negative is only said in a joking way. While similar to the banter we've always had, it's more affectionate and playful.
Hearing him snap at me comes as a shock.
"Why don't you tell me about it, so I understand? Because from where I'm at, it's only a matter of time before we're found out," I say, hoping he explains what's bothering him.
While I figured he may disagree with me, something about his voice indicates he's more irritated than usual.
"I don't have time for that right now," he informs me dully, and I think about how different he is now from when he answered the phone.
Before, he was excited at the idea of talking to me. Now, he sounds like he wants nothing more than to get off the phone.
"Are you okay?" I ask him, hating how small my voice sounds.
"I'm fine, I just need to go," he says softly, not even waiting for my reply before hanging up.
Sitting down on my bed, I stare at my phone, dumbfounded. Did he just hang up on me like that?
I force myself not to let any tears fall as overwhelming thoughts fill my brain. I need to take a deep breath and calm down. There's probably an explanation for Jared's behavior, and even if there isn't, we aren't serious. I could move on to someone who doesn't get upset at me for asking simple questions.
But even as I try to reassure myself, I know it's futile. No matter how many times I try to tell myself that we aren't a thing, I know myself. My feelings for Jared are more serious than I intended.
"Monica, can you come down here?" my mom calls from the bottom of the staircase.
If I don't compose myself, she'll see that something is up and will automatically assume it's boy troubles. Standing up from my bed, I lift my head up high and march downstairs to see what it is that my mother needs, hoping she won't be able to sense my turbulent emotional state.
But when Maria and my mom look up at me from the couch, they are all smiles and don’t seem to notice anything is amiss.
"Come look at this house," my mom exclaims excitedly as I sit down next to her.
I quickly do as she says. I try my best to look intrigued at the pictures she's showing me. I react at times when it seems like I should, and I smile and nod to show that I'm paying attention and that I care.
But no matter how much I fake it, it doesn't stop my true thoughts from taking over my mind. What was up with Jared today?
CHAPTER18
JARED
There are more and more things piling up on top of me, and I have no way of dealing with it.
I was certain I had Mr. Cho in the bag by the way we've been communicating since our meeting. We were in the middle of finalizing things when he dropped the bombshell that he had an offer from a competitor and is interested in hearing what they had to say.
I thought I had him locked down. Now, I must wait and see if he will give us the contract.
That only adds to the weight of everything else, such as dealing with Jessica and keeping my affair with Monica a secret. Tyler's suggestion that I should start dating someone soon doesn't help at all. While Monica's idea of coming clean may alleviate some worries, I know it would bring a host of other problems.
Sighing, I lean back in my desk chair, letting my hands drag down my face. Right now, I can't control any of this, so I need to focus on what I can do—work.
However, with Monica right outside my door, I know it's only a matter of time before the topic that was brought up the other day resurfaces. I can sense that keeping this secret is taking a toll on her, although she doesn't fully grasp the gravity of the situation for me.
If Tyler were to find out, it would be one thing, but if Jessica were to discover the truth, I’m not sure if it could jeopardize my chances of maintaining full custody of Archer. I don't want to find myself having to defend my actions in court when it comes to explaining my somewhat untraditional relationship with Monica.
A knock on my door interrupts my sulking. I recognize it as Monica, and her need to knock tells me she's still upset about our conversation the other day. While I acknowledge that hanging up was not the best response, it felt right in the moment.
