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There's a brief pause before Kate exclaims, "Wait, you and Jared have fucked more than once?"
I let out a deep sigh, frustrated that she's focusing on that detail. "Yes, Kate. But right now, I don't know where we stand because of the fight we had."
She pauses for a moment. “It sounds to me like Jared has his own issues and reservations, and that isn’t your fault. He can either apologize or not, but either way, you shouldn’t stress yourself out over someone else’s emotions. At the end of the day, you can’t control that,” Kate tells me, giving me another example as to why she’s always the best person to talk to when I have a problem.
“I know you’re right but… I thought he liked me,” I tell her sullenly.
"But if he doesn't treat you as you deserve, then it's not worth your energy to sulk over him," she explains softly.
"Yeah," I say, trailing off as I let my phone lie beside me while I think through her words.
While I know they're true, they don't change how I feel in the moment.
I try my best to ask Kate a few questions about herself in an effort not to be selfish. But I know she can tell I'm not in the mood for it, as she softly says she has to get off the phone, making me promise to call her soon with any updates.
When the line disconnects, it leaves me moping in bed as I do my best to take my mind off today’s events.
I drift in and out of sleep for an hour and a half before I force myself to get up and find something to eat. I never took off my work clothes, so I put on a T-shirt and soft sleep shorts before heading to my kitchen.
Even as I fill my stomach with some leftover pasta—my first meal of the day—it does nothing to elevate my mood. What's even worse, is that I can't hide out in my apartment forever. I'll have to go back to work tomorrow and face Jared. That is, assuming I still have my job.
My mood only worsens when I hear a knock on my front door. Doesn't the universe know that I'm trying to be sad in peace? I don't feel like dealing with anyone right now.
Begrudgingly, I stand up from my kitchen table, leaving my half-eaten pasta to go cold as I go to see who's at my door. Opening it up, I let out a huff of indignation as I realize who's standing on the other side.
Jared.
I move to close the door, but he keeps pressing his hand against it until I allow him into my apartment.
"Monica, please," he says once inside. "Just give me a second."
"I want you out of my apartment. Now," I tell him coldly, my gaze piercing as I cross my arms over my chest.
The fury inside me resurfaces, replacing my earlier melancholy. It's the only emotion I believe can carry me through this encounter.
"Just give me a moment to speak with you. Please," he asks again, a hint of remorse painted on his face.
I don't give him permission to continue, but I don't tell him to leave either. I stand there expectantly, waiting for him to say his part.
"I shouldn't have been rude to you like I was today," he begins, earning a scoff from me.
He gives me a genuinely hurt look, but I don't let it deter me from radiating the anger I hope he senses.
"A lot has been going on, and I took it out on you.” He pauses before continuing with a sigh. “Mr. Cho isn't fully on board to give us the contract. He's meeting with a competitor to see what they can offer. On top of that, Tyler has been pressuring me about dating, which I know could be resolved by being honest, but I'm not ready yet.” His explanation does little to ease my frustration.
"But why not?" I ask sternly, growing frustrated with whatever is holding him back. “We are lying to everyone we love.”
"Because Tyler is my best friend, and he's been there for me while I've been dealing with Jessica, who is trying to get joint custody of Archer," he says, his voice cracking slightly at the end, but he clears his throat to hide it.
My eyes widen slightly as I think about what Tyler had mentioned about Jared going through some stuff with Jessica. I hadn't realized she was seeking custody of Archer. Jared must be both terrified and furious. It's even sadder to see the worry he feels about losing his friend while dealing with his ex-wife.
I can't help my demeanor softening at what he just explained to me. "I didn't realize you were going through that," I mumble, letting my head hang down in something akin to regret. Jared takes a step toward me, slowly raising his hand to rest on my cheek.
"How could you have known, though? I wasn't honest with you, and then I lashed out because of it. It was my fault, and I shouldn't have done that."
Hesitantly, I lean into his touch. "Yeah, you should have just told me instead of being mean."
"I know that. And I'm sorry. Can you forgive me?" he asks, worry clouding his eyes as he waits for my answer.
