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His admittance is like a drug, making me feel warm and light, like I’m floating in a lazy river on a late summer evening. I want more of it. I want him to spill his secrets, all the little thoughts he has about me, into the open where I can arrange them how I like and wear them like a blanket.
I try not to show my desperation, but it leaks out in the form of a question. “Why do you care so much about me?”
He takes a long drag and holds the smoke in, letting it out when he’s arrived at an answer. “I’ve just never met anyone like you, Oakley. I guess it’s because you’re an outsider. You’re not tainted by this mess, by this horrible lifestyle. And yes, I’m aware that it’s horrible.”
“That could be anyone, though,” I reply. “There are billions of people on this planet, and I would assume that most of them are pretty wholesome.”
“Not like you.”
“And that’s it?” I ask, looking at him earnestly. “That doesn’t really explain much.”
He lowers his voice, leaning toward me and holding his cigarette away so that the smoke cannot reach me. “Words can’t describe feelings, as much as they try to, darling. They can only imitate, and that imitation is as pale and dim as the way the moon copies the sun. I would never tarnish my feelings by putting them into words, but perhaps I can express them in a different language.”
He leans toward me, his eyelids drooping and his lips parting. My heart and mind race, but my body takes over, pulling me toward him like two opposing magnets until we click together.
I always thought cigarette smoke was stale and sour, but on his mouth, it’s sweet and deep. His tongue dances across my teeth, and I taste him fully, surging electrical impulses hijacking my brain and causing me to crumple into his broad chest.
The kiss turns into a frantic search for more as he flicks his cigarette away, putting his hands on my hips and pulling them into his. His cock is hard already, pulsing in his jeans, hot and eager to experience me, as though it was our first time again.
I’m sure that it will always feel like the first time with Savva. He just has that energy about him, that freshness that feeds my soul like a downpour after a long drought.
My legs are weak, but he’s holding me up, my rock in the overwhelming chaos, the unmoving lighthouse that stands still no matter how vicious the waves become. It’s both concerning and comforting how much he means to me now.
When he finally pulls away, I’m trembling, nervous despite our experience together. Somehow, this time feels different. His intentions aren’t just physical, they carry through as such but they stem from his soul. I can feel that in the way my blood pumps as he holds me.
For a long time, neither of us speak. He wraps his arms around me and holds me, both of us staring out into the parking lot as people wander in and out of the bar. I wish this peace could last forever, but by the very nature in which we’ve come together, the peace will be broken.
We’re in the eye of the storm now, and the moment the winds change direction, all hell is set to break loose.
But until then.
Here we are.
Together.
19
Savva
Iwish I could say that my intentions were just to protect her, but the truth is, I want to do more than that. I want to own her.
It’s selfish, but I never claimed to be an altruist. I’ve always gone through life taking what I wanted without so much as a kind word or an apology. Surely, karma will catch up with me eventually, but until then, I’ll continue to have what I want.
And what I want is Oakley.
She has a sparkle in her big blue eyes as I take her around the back of Smoke, Steel, & Whiskey. Tonight, her payment is my pleasure. Tomorrow, nothing can be guaranteed.
“Remember when I spanked you out here?” I ask as we come around the corner.
“It was on the other side, wasn’t it?” she asks, as though every detail wasn’t burned into her memory.
I know that I’ll never forget her whimpers and moans as I punished her for being a little brat. Tonight can be no different. She deserves it for making me feel like this about her. If she wasn’t so fucking perfect, maybe I’d be able to leave her alone.
But I can’t, and so I won’t.
As soon as I’ve confirmed that we’re out of sight of any wandering eyes, I grab Oakley by the back of her neck and walk her to one of the storage units, pushing her into it hard enough for the metal door to rattle.
“You think you can act cute with me without punishment, huh?” I growl, dying to release the confusing emotions bottled inside of me in the form of sexual aggression. I know no other way to get them to go away.
