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“Oh,” she says, narrowing her eyes and smiling up at me. “I guess I could allow that.”
“Great, so I’ll just–”
“But wait a second,” she blurts, grabbing my wrist before I can go. “I still have to give you the payment. It’s better if you take it now so that you don’t forget it.”
I shake my head slowly. “No, Oakley, I think we’re done with that.”
She pulls her head back in confusion, her small hand losing grip and falling away from my wrist. “What? Why?”
“What kind of a boyfriend charges his girlfriend money?” I ask.
“You do,” she replies with a laugh.
“Not anymore.”
“Seriously? Damn, if it was that easy, I would’ve asked you to date me sooner.”
“Always with the jokes,” I reply.
“Oh, you love them,” she says, punching my arm lightly.
I love more than her jokes. I love everything about her. I love the way that her eyes light up when she talks, the way that her hair flows past her shoulders, the sweet sound of her voice in the morning, and the way it croaks when she’s tired. I love the way she laughs, the way she holds me, and most of all, the way that she kisses me like she’s been in love with me since the moment we met.
25
Oakley
Itake the bear into my office after watching Savva ride away on his motorcycle. He says he’ll be back in a few hours, but when I’m alone, a few hours might as well be a lifetime. I don’t know what I’m going to do here without him.
I put the bear on the bookshelf next to the picture of me as a child. Now there are two Oakleys on the bookshelf. I laugh a little to myself. I wish Savva was here to listen to my dumb jokes.
I sit down in my leather chair and twirl around aimlessly, waving my feet in the air when I’m no longer facing the desk, and tucking them back in when I come around again. I do this until I get bored.
I look at the clock. It’s only been four minutes.
Ugh, this is going to take forever. It’s almost as bad as having to drive to the pharmacy and back when I knew in the back of my mind that I was pregnant. All I needed then was confirmation, and now, I don’t feel too bad about it. At least I know that there’s a chance that Savva will stick around when I break the news to him.
But I can’t do it just yet. He’s shown commitment, but not on the level that I need to reveal my pregnancy to him. I still have time. As far as I’m concerned, neither of us know about the baby yet.
I look toward the shotgun in the corner of the room. I haven’t moved it in a while, almost too scared to touch it. It’s loaded, and even though I know it’s stupid, I’m afraid that if I touch it, it will blow my head off.
But now that Savva has promised that he will protect me from the Triple Six Angels, I feel more empowered to protect myself. After all, it’s not just about me anymore. I have a baby to care for, and the stakes have risen to unfathomable heights.
It’s no longer acceptable to be afraid. I must be brave.
I get up from the chair and take the shotgun, holding it in my hands and feeling the weight of the deadly instrument. As much as I find it heinous and evil, I must admit that the power is alluring.
I point it at the door, imagining how big the spread would be from this distance. I suppose I could get a pretty solid blast from where I’m standing, blowing back anyone trying to come through.
But then what? Surely, they wouldn’t just run for it. They’d all pull out guns and shoot back, right?
Then again, I don’t think I have any other viable option. If someone were to come through in an attempt to capture me, their intentions would be that of pure evil. It wouldn’t be the firm hand and harsh words of someone like Savva. It would be death.
I nearly pull the trigger when I hear a knock on the door.
“Fuck,” I mutter, putting the gun down on the floor in front of me. “Who is it?”
“Kimberly.”
