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“Uranium powers the nuclear generators in the plant further south. We’ll get it when... Well, we don’t need much for one power plant,” I explain.
She nods without questioning my half-answer, looking back toward the yawning hole in the earth. Most people never see what a mine this size looks like. They’re used to the old coal mines they see in the movies, with rail carts and tunnels under the earth.
EvenIhave trouble believing I’ve had a hand in something this big. It feels unnatural, like something human beings shouldn’t be capable of creating. It’s a mountain inverted into the earth.
Taylor and I stand together at the lip of the mine for several minutes in silence before she looks up at me and smiles. I assume she wants to go back to the settlement, but she taps her fingers on her lips and smiles.
I lean in and kiss her, the heat of her mouth like heaven in this subzero climate. I never want to go back to the settlement. Part of me wants to stay out here and die in the cold with her, just so that I’ll never have to tell her what I’ve done to James.
Will she ever be able to forgive me?
19
Taylor
The week following Danya and my trip to Antarctica is pure magic. Now that I’ve gotten past his steel shell, he’s so warm and kind to me that I feel like he’s a different man entirely.
Every night after dinner together, we laugh with full bellies and a glass of wine in our hands until the sun threatens to rise on the horizon and spoil our late night. Once we’re in the bedroom, Danya and I make love so incredible that I feel like it should be illegal. I’m addicted to his body, and he can’t get enough of mine either. It’s like we were made for each other.
I think it’s funny that we got married before we really knew each other, and then fell in love after. I haven’t told him about my feelings in words, but I’ve expressed them through laughter, touch, and sex.
I know he feels the same, but I’m keeping my lips sealed until I hear it from him first. I won’t be the first to say the words and make a fool out of myself. He must be the one to take the leap of faith.
When Danya comes to the library early one evening after work, my heart jumps at the thought of him telling me now. Why else would he be coming so early? Usually, he’s not here until five or six. It’s only four now.
I leap from my chair, tossing aside a copy of The Great Gatsby and rushing to greet my husband. I’m met by an open hand and a scowl, preventing me from giving him a hug.
Dread pools in the pit of my stomach, and I know immediately that something is horribly wrong. I’ve seen that face before, but not from Danya. I saw it years ago when my father came to my room to tell me that my mother had passed away.
I remember crying and cursing at God for letting her go. Even at a young age, I considered killing myself over it, but I was scared I wouldn’t be able to find her in heaven, or worse, by killing myself I would go to hell.
I’m not sure I believe in any of that anymore, but it doesn’t change that people die, and the look on Danya’s face means someone is dead.
“What did you do to him?” I ask, knowing instantly that it’s my father. Call it a sixth sense, but I know some things without having to be told.
“I’m sorry, darling. James was found in his pool a few days ago. Apparently, he drowned after he had a few too many drinks and tried to go for a swim,” he says, but I can barely hear his words over the rage pumping blood into my ears.
“You fucking killed him, you asshole!” I scream, throwing a punch as hard as I can into his stomach. It bounces off him without any effect, so I go for another one and he grabs my hand.
“I’ve been with you this entire time. It would’ve been impossible for me to go all the way to America and drown him, though I would’ve been happy to after what he did to you.”
I jerk my hand away from him, breaking from his grasp and taking a step back. “Don’t make this about me. Your intentions have nothing to do with protecting me and everything to do with your stupid mines. Who the fuck cares about uranium, anyway? What, you want even more money? At what point does it end? How many people are you going to kill until you’re satisfied?!”
He sighs. “Taylor, I know this is difficult, but please listen to what I just told you. I didn’t kill James.”
“You didn’t, but you ordered one of your obedient little minions to do it for you. I know who you are, Danya. You already told me that you’re a criminal, and I believed you. I don’t need any more confirmation than that,” I snarl, my teeth clenched so tight that it’s hard to get the words out.
He rubs his chin, smirking a bit.
I want to throw something at him, but the only thing close to me is a book. That wouldn’t do nearly enough damage. I need something that could break his fucking skull.
“You’re a clever girl,” he says, “But that doesn’t mean you call the shots. What’s done is done, and that’s the end of it. I just wanted to tell you before the lawyers reached out about his estate.”
“Oh, what a fucking gentleman,” I reply, pulling the words out like taffy.
He shrugs.
“Yeah, keep shrugging your fucking shoulders, asshole. That’ll fix everything, you stupid son of a bitch.”
