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I pour myself a glass of wine and wink at her. “Give me five minutes with a knife and I can make the cake dick of your dreams.”
Her laughter as she digs into her food is music to my ears.
Though I know that this birthday dinner is blurring yet another line between us, I wouldn’t change it.
I’m starting to think that some lines should be blurred when it comes to Brielle.
13
BRIELLE
Isit in the doctor’s office staring at the anatomically correct poster of a penis, wondering how the hell I got myself into this mess.
Since my birthday last week, I’ve done nothing but throw up in the morning. Or when I smell something that turns my stomach. Every time I think that the nausea is finally passing, I get sick again.
“Alright,” the doctor says as she looks up from the computer screen. “It looks like you’re pregnant. Now, we would need to do an ultrasound to get a clear idea of how far along you are, but based on your hCG levels, I would feel comfortable saying that you are just past the middle of your first trimester.”
“Excuse me?” I ask, feeling like I’m going to be sick. I must not have heard her right. There’s no way that I’m pregnant.
“Ms. McMann, you’re currently pregnant. I’d be happy to do an ultrasound for you now and take a look at the baby.”
Everything around me starts to fade away as I stare at her, trying to make sense of it all. The only man I’ve slept with in the last several weeks is Salvatore.
We didn’t use protection any of the times we slept together.
“Fuck,” I whisper, looking at the doctor. “Yes, please, let’s do the ultrasound. I’ve had a few drinks in the past several weeks. Is the baby going to be okay? It’s not like I’ve been going out and getting drunk, but I might have had a drink with dinner or had one night of partying.”
“Everything is likely alright. We can do some tests to confirm, but you wouldn’t be the first woman to have a drink or two while not knowing she was pregnant.” The doctor gives me a kind smile and pulls over the ultrasound machine.
“Run the tests for that then too. I need to know that the baby is alright. I can’t believe I could have hurt my baby.”
“Ms. McMann, everything is going to be fine. I know that you’re in a state of shock right now, but I need you to lay back for me and lift your shirt.”
I nod, my mind in a fog as I do what she says. The doctor squirts some cold jelly onto my stomach before moving a wand around. She does something with the machine and moves the wand thing around until a picture appears of what I assume is my baby. A dull fast beating thud fills the room.
“That is your baby’s heartbeat,” the doctor says, smiling as I look at the screen. “And this here is your baby. Based on this, you’re seven weeks along and the baby is perfectly healthy.”
Tears well in my eyes as I stare at the screen.
How the hell am I going to tell Salvatore that we’re having a baby?
* * *
Jamie nearly spitsout her water when I shove the sonogram in front of her. Her eyes bulge as she snatches the picture off the table and holds it up to the light.
“What the hell am I looking at right now, Brielle?” she asks, excitement flooding her voice as she glances at me.
“Well, you’re going to be Auntie Jamie in about seven months.”
Jamie’s mouth drops open. It snaps shut for a moment before she starts squealing. “Holy shit, Brielle! I can’t believe this! You’re going to be a mom! How are you feeling?”
“Scared out of my mind. I don’t know that I’m built to be anyone’s mother but I’m going to try.”
“You’re going to do an amazing job.” She smiles and hands back the picture of my baby. “Alright, please tell me that the father is that gorgeous man who’s been keeping you under lock and key.”
I nod and tuck the picture into my purse. “He is, although, I don’t know how he’s going to react to this. We just hooked up a couple times and even those times were mistakes.”
“Now,” Jamie says, waving a hand in my direction. “Say that part to me again but say it like you mean it. Right now, it’s coming across like you have feelings for him and you’re desperately trying not to.”
