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“Well, unfortunately for you, that’s exactly what we’re going to be doing until we can fly out in two days.” Salvatore looks smug as he parks the wheelchair beside the car and reaches for me.
I bat his hands away and stand up. Matteo opens the car door, holding it in place while I lower myself into the seat. Everything in my body hurts. I ache in places I didn’t even know I could ache.
As much as I want to keep arguing with Salvatore, I stay quiet. The sooner I get home, the better.
* * *
When I wakeup several hours later, there is a hazy sunlight filtering through the windows and Salvatore is lounging in bed beside me, his glasses on and a book in his hand. I raise my eyebrows and struggle to sit up.
“What the hell are you doing in my bed?” I ask, my voice still groggy with sleep.
“I wanted to make sure that you were okay. You woke up screaming a few times. You know, if this is something that you’re going to struggle with, Damien does have some good therapists on his payroll. At least, that’s what I’ve heard.”
“You’re advocating for therapy?You?” I scoff and shake my head, wincing when my brain feels like it’s throbbing against my head. “Right.”
Salvatore closes his book and sets it to the side. “We should talk about the baby we’re going to be having soon.”
“We’re not having it.Iam. And the due date is still months away.”
“Which means thatweonly have a few months left to plan for the baby’s arrival. Once this business with the Alvarez defectors is over, there'll be even less time to talk about the baby.”
I raise an eyebrow. “I thought you’d already made up your mind about all of this.”
“Yeah, so did I. I thought I knew what I wanted, but I’m starting to question whether I really do know what I want at all.”
“I don’t know what that’s supposed to mean, and right now, I’m not really sure I care.”
I know I’m lying through my teeth as I pull the blanket a little higher around me and lean further into the pillows, trying to relieve some of the tension in my back without aggravating my bruises more. I really do care, but I’ve been burned so many times by him that I don’t think I can take the chance of getting hurt anymore.
“It means that I thought that I didn’t want to deal with a child because of all the shit that’s going on in my life. But you didn’t exactly ask for this either, and you don’t exactly have an easy life, and you’re ready to be a parent.”
“I wouldn’t say that I’m ready.” I look over at him and shrug a shoulder. “I just know that I want to try. I mean, there’s no doubt in my mind that I’m going to fuck a child up in some way or another, but I think all parents do that. Nobody is perfect.”
“Brielle, I don’t know how the hell we’re going to raise a child together, but I want to be part of that baby’s life in whatever way you will have me. I want to be better than my father.”
“You really mean that? You’re not going to go running the second a crotch goblin pops out?”
He laughs and some of the tension between us eases. “Crotch goblin? Is that really something you should be calling our child?”
“You try having one and then tell me that it isn’t a crotch goblin.”
Salvatore nods and looks down at my stomach. “That’s a good point. I’m glad you’re the pregnant one.”
“Yeah,” I say, my tone dripping with sarcasm as I move to the edge of the bed and swing my feet onto the ground.
Salvatore hurries out of bed as I stand, reaching out to catch me as I take a stumbling step. I glare at him as he helps me stand up straight, an amused smile pulling at the corner of his mouth.
“What is it that you think you’re trying to do?”
“I want to have a bath. Scalding some of the pain out of my body might help.”
He cups my face with both hands, surprising tenderness in his eyes. My heart skips a beat as he looks down at me and I don’t know what to think. In that moment, it feels like the world is frozen around me. The only thing that matters is the way that he’s looking at me.
“What?” I ask, my voice low.
“Nothing,” he says, his hands dropping away. He takes a step back, putting some space between us and I can feel the walls going up between us again.
It’s for the best, I guess. I need time to process what’s happened within the last day and that isn’t going to happen if he insists on being close to me.
