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My chest tightens, forming a pit in my stomach.
“As far as my living situation goes, I suppose I’ll just have to find somewhere. The only problem is that I have no money to my name so it’s going to take a while before I can do anything.”
Time to take a chance.
“Kyra… I’ve got an idea. Hear me out.”
“Yeah?” she asks, raising her brows.
“How about you stay here with me?” I ask.
“Oh, well…” she mutters.
“It would be exactly the same arrangement as it was before. No need to pay rent or anything. This place is big enough for all three of us. You’re comfortable here, are you not?” I ask, hoping not to sound desperate.
“I am, I haven’t had this much space to myself since… Well, ever.”
“So what do you think then?”
She tilts her head in thought, looking at me thoughtfully before her eyes dart to our child.
“Don’t get me wrong Zy, I really appreciate the gesture. I think I’ve outstayed my welcome though, haven’t I been a burden to you enough already?” she asks.
“What are you talking about?” I chuckle.
“Do you remember when I came back and asked for you to sign off on the release paperwork? You asked me to stay with you for the duration of my entire pregnancy. Well, we’ve done that and you’ve been incredibly good to me. I just don’t want to put further stress on you.”
“Kyra, I told you it’s my duty. We got you out of your contract. You’re a free woman now.”
“Exactly, so I can’t help but feel as though I’ve got to make my own ends.”
She hasn’t mentioned taking the child with her…
“Well, part of being free means you have a choice. Should you wish to make your own way elsewhere, I won’t stand in your way, but at least stay here while you save up some money for a place of your own.”
“Are you sure?” she asks.
“One hundred percent.”
“Alright… Well like I said, I appreciate it.”
I let her hand go, grabbing my own mug before heading to the seat by the fireplace. I shake Traisius’ cot gently. Kyra’s answer wasn’t the one I’d been hoping to hear but it wasn’t a hard no from her. I run a hand over my head in deep thought as I gaze upon the fire.
There may yet still be a chance,I think to myself.
A voice in my head is screaming at me to return to Kyra’s side and let her hear what I want her to hear. I give it some serious thought, to wear my heart on my sleeve and confess all of my true feelings for her, that I want her around so we can be a family together.
Yet, something stops me, leaving me frustrated as I study the flames dancing and flickering in front of my eyes. Right now, I’m caught, perfectly balanced between the piercing points of confession and concealment of my feelings for her. While I remain cool and collected on the outside, internally I am writhing in torment.
I’m pulled from my immersion by the soft coos of Traisius.
“I got it,” I call to Kyra as I hunch over his cot. Our son reaches out to me, wrapping his entire fist around my pinkie finger. In his brows, he carries curious innocence. At that moment, all other sounds become muffled as though an invisible blanket is thrown over the room. All I can hear is his soft giggling and high pitched sounds.
From the corner of my eye, I glance at Kyra sitting upright against the bed frame. Her eyes are closed as though she’s in the midst of deep meditation. The last thing I want to do is bring up who is going to look after Traisius when she has enough money to move out.
I’m unwilling to let either of them go, wanting nothing more than for both to stay… Yet I know I cannot force her to do anything. It would make me no better than her old boss.
Perhaps if I showcase my ability to be a good father, that may convince her to stay with me.
