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“The park. A place with actual children and people he can see.”
“Security hazard. No.”
“Adrian, please.” She turns around to face me, so that she’s caged between me and the dresser, and places a soft hand on my chest. “Kids his age need to go outside and meet other children. It’ll just be for a few hours, and I’m sure your guards will keep an eye on us.”
I don’t like them outside, not even when my guards are with them. But I know that she’s been stressed. I’ve sensed it in her absentminded gestures lately and the rising intensity of her nightmares. If she doesn’t release that tension, she could—and will—start acting out soon.
While I’m not sure about the extent of what happens, patterns don’t lie, and she’s developing one.
But instead of agreeing readily, I raise a brow. “One condition.”
Her eyes light up. “What?”
“From now on, you’ll let me hear your voice.”
She swallows, hesitating before she nods. I don’t like that moment of hesitation, how she wants to say no but knows she has to say yes to get what she wants.
That doesn’t mean I won’t hold her to it, though.
I lift her chin. “Starting tonight.”
“Does that mean you’ll let us?”
“I’ll make arrangements.”
“Thank you.” She smiles wide, and I kiss that smile. I feast on it, thrusting my tongue inside, and kissing her with a violence that leaves her gasping for air.
I love making her happy. I love how she melts in my arms and I intend to show her how much I love it all night long.
But even I know that this phase will come to an end. That we both need to face our demons.
I carry her in my arms toward the bed.
I’ll worry about it when it happens, because right now, my wife is the only one who matters.
31
Winter
Inever thought Adrian would actually let us out.
When I came up with this plan, the only variable was Adrian. He always keeps me in an ivory tower that he’s somehow blocked from the outside world.
So when I asked him to let me and Jeremy outside, I thought he’d refuse, even though I used my body to relax him a little. Well,usedis an exaggeration. I enjoyed every second of last night’s sex. In fact, I enjoyed it so much that I was a little terrified by the pure want I saw on my face in the mirror.
But I also used it to my advantage.
Adrian becomes more open to me when he’s inside me. I wouldn’t say he lets his guard down, but he’s more attuned to me. And for that, I had to completely let go, to sacrifice my fight so he’d fall more into me. I couldn’t have managed to do it if I’d faked it or resisted him. He’s too perceptive, so methodical that I held my breath the entire night thinking he’d catch onto me.
I’m still holding my breath.
Jeremy is playing with his toy car as we sit on the bench in a nearby park. Two of Adrian’s guards stand not far from us, but I convinced them to give us some room. They’re both bulky, scowly, and scary as hell. They would draw more attention instead of warding it off.
The sky is cloudy, the air chilly, and the wind is a constant reminder of the cold season each time it blows my hair back.
The park’s busy, though, as I'd hoped. Kids are playing with their toys and adults are jogging or cycling. It’s the type of chaos that’s keeping the guards on their toes and will work in my favor.
The unknown phone number—or ‘shadow,’ as I like to call him—said he’ll make contact. I sent him a text that I would be in this park today before I deleted the entire conversation.
