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I shouldn’t. Ihatehim.
Adrian releases my hands and they fall limp on either side of me. He disappears into the bathroom, and my eyes start to droop, exhaustion getting the better of me. Then I make out his silhouette reappearing beside me. He’s all tucked in his pants as if nothing happened.
A first aid kit dangles from his right hand and a wet cloth from his left. He gently removes my shredded top and bra before he wipes his cum off my chest. I want to release a sound—I don’t know what, but I trap it inside.
After he’s finished, he turns me over, and I sigh in contentment as the pressure eases off my ass. He applies something cold to it, and I hiss when it burns.
“It’ll go away in a second.”
I mumble something that sounds like a protest, but then I’m drifting off as he continues rubbing it over my ass in soothing circles.
His fingers are long, slightly calloused, and feel way too good. They shouldn’t. Theyreallyshouldn’t.
I think I fall asleep, because suddenly, I hear a phone ringing and I feel Adrian’s fingers stroking my hair as he says, “What did she do now?”
And then followed by a sigh. “I’ll be right there.”
Don’t go.I scream in my head.She’s not me. Don’t go to her.
But his fingers leave my hair and the mattress dips. Even though I don’t see the emptiness, I feel it in the darkest corners of my heart.
I’m all on my own.
A tear cascades down my cheek, and I have no clue why or who’s the ‘she’ I internally told him not to go to.
16
Winter
“You have one mission. Pull the fucking trigger.”
No.
“Mommy?”
I open my eyes, heart hammering so loudly, all I hear is its beat. Jeremy is perching over me, his little hand pulling on my nightgown.
Wait. A nightgown. I thought I fell asleep naked. When did I put this on?
“Mommy?” Jeremy calls again, his tiny chin trembling.
“Hey, baby. Morning.”
“M-morning.” He sniffles, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.
I run my thumb over his tears. “Why are you crying?”
“Cuz you weren’t there when I woke up this morning. I thought you were gone again.”
“I told you I won’t leave. You don’t believe me?”
His gray eyes blur with tears. “But you always disappear, Mommy.”
I do? I mean, Lia does? Why would she? Actually, having had a taste of Adrian, I know exactly why she would. He’s not the type of man anyone would stay with willingly.
He’s the devil incarnate. A hateful asshole whose only purpose is to sweep away anyone in his path.
But even so, Jeremy is her son. She shouldn’t have left him with that type of man. Neither of them deserves the blessing that is Jeremy.
