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Handing Jeremy a bottle of juice that I had in my bag for our picnic, I pretend to be preoccupied with fixing his scarf as I ask Adrian, “Did you follow us?”
He doesn’t spare me a glance, but he doesn’t ignore me and nods.
It was a redundant question anyway, considering he appeared not long after Luca took me. He must’ve suspected me since I asked him if I could go out with Jeremy last night.
And here I thought I was being smart.
I should’ve known from everything that’s happened in the past that Adrian is always one step ahead. However, I couldn’t really recall those years when I was being Winter.
Though a part of me felt a certain familiarity that I did my best to ignore.
My instant connection with Adrian makes sense, too. The fear, the lust, and the affection all came from deep within me.
“Why did you follow us, Papa?” Jeremy asks and it takes everything in me not to kiss his adorable cheeks.
“Because I wanted to see you, Malysh.” Adrian ruffles his hair before going back to his phone.
Jer takes a slurp of his juice, then frowns. “How about Mommy? You didn’t want to see Mommy?”
“Of course I did,” he says with no emotion.
“Maybe you can come with us next time, Papa.”
“Maybe.”
“Your papa has work to do, Jer.” I stroke his hair away from his face, adopting my softest tone. “He doesn’t have time for us.”
Adrian glares at me beneath his lashes, but I hold onto my defensive line through Jeremy. I hate using him, but he’s always been the only solid thread keeping us together. And if that’s the best way to get to my husband, so be it.
“Maybe he doesn’t want to be with us,” I continue, stroking Jeremy’s hair.
I wouldn’t have dared to say such words a few months ago. I always kept my words to myself, was mad on the inside but refused to let it show on the outside.
However, something’s changed ever since I mistook myself for being Winter. I freed myself in ways I never thought possible, and it’s only because of that freedom that I’m able to embrace my true self.
I’m able to talk aloud about what I want.
As much as I hated those couple of months and the loneliness I felt, I don’t hate my newfound freedom.
Or my voice.
Jeremy grips the bottle of juice as he stares up at his father. “Is that true, Papa?”
“Not at all, Malysh. I love spending time with you.”
“And Mommy?” Jer, bless his little heart, is the first member of my fan club.
“And your mother.”
He’s insincere, judging by his apathetic tone, and that’s why I need to strike the iron while it’s hot.
“Then go on a vacation with us,” I say nonchalantly.
A muscle tics in his jaw, but he quickly masks it. “We’ll talk about it later.”
“Or we can talk about it now, isn’t that right, Jer?”
“Right! Go on vacation with us, Papa.”
