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The room in which Yan is resting is on the ground floor, but I stare at the stairs. Winter is up there and probably has been for the past two months. She’s another mystery I need to solve.
If Adrian knew from the get-go that she wasn’t me, why did he hurt her? My chest squeezes at the thought that I put her in danger.
At the same time, I swear I saw her staring down at us when Adrian and I were playing with Jeremy in the garden at that time. Was that also a figment of my imagination?
Shaking my head, I go to Yan’s room and softly knock on the door.
“Come in,” he says in a weary voice.
I push the door open, then go inside and settle on the chair beside his bed. The one Kolya would be occupying if he were here. For a stoic dude, Kolya cares about Yan and shows it through action, though he’d probably never admit it in words.
Yan is sitting in bed, wearing a blue hoodie. His long hair is loose, falling to his neck and giving his face a softer edge. His skin’s color has returned to normal and the ghost of death has slowly retreated from his features.
He’s browsing through the TV channels without focusing on one in particular. Upon seeing me, he switches the TV off and leans back against the numerous pillows surrounding him.
“Are you okay?”
He lifts a shoulder and winces. “If bored out of my mind means I’m okay, then sure, I guess I am.”
A small smile paints my lips. His attitude is something else, I swear.
“How did you get here, anyway? I thought Boris was standing like a hell guard at the entrance of my prison.”
“I have my ways.”
“Your ways? You’re going to get us in trouble again, aren’t you?”
“Wouldn’t it be worth it?”
“Fuck, no. I still need my neck, thank you very much.”
I laugh softly, then pause as it dies away. “Hey, Yan.”
“Yes?”
“I remember.”
“You…do?”
“Yes. I stopped thinking I’m someone else or whatever.”
His lips part before he releases a long breath. “Fucking finally. I thought I’d have to start forcing info down your throat.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“Did you forget the part where I still need my neck? Boss is already on a mission to cut me into pieces and exhibit them in the entrance hall. I don’t need to give him more incentive. Besides, the head shrink said you were dissociating, and forcing information on you would have the exact opposite effect and could worsen your state.”
I inch closer. “Is that why Adrian let me live as Winter?”
“Exactly.”
“I assume he watched me from afar?”
“We all did. You have no idea how grumpy he was during that period—more than usual, I mean. Yours truly had to take his wrath. He beat everyone up during our daily workouts.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize for a situation you had no control over. Mental illness isn’t something to be sorry about.”
