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He pulls out of me, forcing me to release my legs from around his waist as he smooths my dress and coat down. His strong palm lands on my hip to keep me steady since I’m currently dangling from his neck, my feet not touching the ground.
“Let me go, Lia.” The order is quiet, not as firm as usual.
I furiously shake my head against his neck.
“You’ll freeze to death.”
“I don’t care. Freezing to death is better than whatever you’re planning.”
“Look at me.”
“No…”
“Lenochka, look at me.”
I can’t resist him when he calls me by that nickname or when he lowers his voice to that coaxing range.
Not releasing him, I pull back so I can stare at him through my blurry vision. Adrian wipes my tears with the pad of his thumb even as fresh ones fall. “When I was ten, my mother betrayed my father by talking to other crime organizations behind his back. She was so power-hungry that she singlehandedly plotted a coup against thePakhanat the time with the intention of making my father the number one man in the Bratva. When he found out, he chased her, forced her to her knees and shot her between the eyes right in front of me. That’s how traitors are treated in the brotherhood, no matter who they are or what their rank.”
I whimper, shaking all over in his hold, but it’s not because of his underlying threat, it’s the fact that he witnessed his mother’s execution as a kid. My heart aches for him, even if he’s planning to do the same to me. I guess this is what it means to love. It’s to feel the pain of the one you love in spite of what he’s plotting for you.
“Are you…are you going to kill me now?”
“Never.” No hesitation. No second thoughts.
“I-isn’t that what you’re supposed to do?”
“Maybe. But like you, I’m unable to hurt you, Lenochka, even if my own life is on the line.”
“What…what do you mean that your life is on the line?” I don’t like the sound of that. In fact, I hate it so much that I’m shivering and quivering for a reason entirely different from the cold.
“Remember when you asked me if I ever loved you?”
I nod, fresh tears surging to my eyes.
“I didn’t understand my emotions at the time, but I do now. I do love you, Lia. I always have. But my form of love isn’t sweetness or softness. It’s nothing noble or delicate. My love is selfish and villainous. My love is the type where I will kill people to protect you and erase others to avenge you. My love is possessive, obsessive, and knows no boundaries, not when I first met you and certainly not now.”
A helpless noise tears from my throat. Even though his words are everything I’ve wished to hear, the circumstances he’s saying them under fill me with a raw agony.
“And because my love is selfish, I will put you ahead of everything else.”
“Adrian…”
Before I can organize my thoughts, he picks me up, carrying me bridal style, and heads back through the blurry snowstorm to the house. There’s a car waiting outside, in front of which all the guards who came with us are standing.
Kolya stares at me with his stoic expression and Yan doesn’t meet my gaze.
“Boris and Yan, you will stay here to protect Lia and Jeremy with your lives,” Adrian announces. “The rest will come with me.”
“Go with you where?” I whisper in a spooked voice.
He puts me to my feet, stroking my hair behind my ear. “I wish it could’ve been different between the two of us. I wish I were the man you deserve instead of the villain you’ve got.”
“What are you talking about? Why are you saying things like that?”
“Raise Jeremy well. My men will be able to ensure your safety.”
“Why not you? Why would your men do it?”
