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“Just because that’s how it would work for some random man and woman, it doesn’t mean it’s how it has to work for us, but honestly, I’m not going to beg you. Maybe this is for the best.”
“You think so?” I say gruffly.
I’ve got no right to be mad. I’m the one ending things, but when she says this, geysers burst inside me, spewing heat. My seed expands in my balls, aching with a primal call to claim her, fuck her, impregnate her, and own her.
“I’ll still do the tattoo if you want,” she murmurs, “but at least now, we won’t have to worry about wrecking Dad’s life, right?”
I turn away, grumpy as hell and pissed, even if this is my fault. “Right.”
CHAPTER
FOURTEEN
Evie
“So you’re going to sit around moping all night?” Kelly says on video chat.
“Stop moving around so much,” I reply, my tone lighthearted even as my emotions are anything but.
I sketch Kelly, studying the laptop screen. From downstairs, I hear Dad laughing and Brian’s voice raised, though I can’t hear what he’s saying. He’s down there, joking, having a great time, as if nothing ever happened between us.
“He said a couple of years,” I go on, “like he saw us as a long-term thing, but then he said it was just a figure of speech, so I don’t know. Maybe he’s right. Maybe the crush is too weird.”
“It’s not too weird for you,” Kelly says, barely moving her lips, except for the corner, which constantly tries to twitch into a smile.
“Not even a little, but we don’t break Dad’s heart this way. That has to be a plus.”
“I don’t think you believe that.”
I sigh. “I don’t think I do either, but I should. We can pretend this never happened. God, Kelly, you should’ve seen his face. It was like he’d found out I was stalking him.”
“Hang on.” Kelly shakes her head. “You told me he was worried about taking advantage of you.”
“Yeah…”
“It didn’t sound like he was judging you or freaked out by you. More like he wants you so badly, but he knows he has to be the mature one.”
“But that’s crap. We both have to be mature. I know he’s older. I get that. It’s not like I can freaking forget it, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be mature about this.”
“Mature… like sulking upstairs, skipping dinner, and demanding that I sit still to be your sketching-distraction device, huh?”
I smile at her light teasing.
“Fair enough, but I’m not sure I can go down there and pretend everything’s normal. It was hard enough when me and Brian were on, but now there’s this awkwardness. I don’t know. Maybe I’ll blurt something out, and anyway, it sounds like they’re having a great time down there.”
“Why don’t you come to my place?” Kelly asks. “I’ve got a few people coming over. Nothing crazy. Some board games. I know drinking’s not your thing, but I’ve even got some soda somewhere.”
Honestly, this doesn’t sound very appealing to me, but Kelly asks it in a way I know well, with a hint of hope in her voice, but she won’t go all the way and tell me she really wants me to come. She’s that sort of friend who doesn’t put too much pressure on me but is always willing to offer her time and support. I’ve been unloading a lot on her lately, and she’s right. What good is moping around here doing?
“I’ll have to ask Mom and Dad.”
Kelly tilts her head. “Sorry, did I just time-travel back to middle school?”
“Because of the Never Say Never Art stuff.”
“Oh.” She nods. “Yeah, better to be safe than sorry, but you do want to come? You could even stay over.”
“That sounds awesome. Let me go check.”
“Can I move now?”
I laugh, momentarily forgetting the anxiety wrapping around me. As I walk down the stairs, it returns, an invisible monster intent on devouring any positive emotions. With each step, the feeling expands until I can feel Brian’s lips on my legs, a physical memory from earlier. He was kissing so close to my sex, and, for a crazy second, I thought everything would be okay. He would tell me the crush didn’t matter, or better, he likes it because it proves I’m sure. As sure as he was a couple of years…
“You don’t have to ask to stay over at Kelly’s,” Mom says when I explain.
The three of them are sitting around the garden table, the flickering candle-style lights lit. The orange glow bounces off Brian’s hair, turning it a deeper, burning silver. He’s staring down at the table as if he doesn’t want to look at me.
Fine. This is the end. I can handle that. Who am I kidding?
“Oh,” Mom says a moment later. “You’re asking because of that horrible man.”
“Yeah, Keith. I wasn’t sure how strict we’re being with security.”
