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A sick thought has taken hold. Even if Roger says we have to stop, I can’t, and I won’t. I just love her too damn much.
“Explain what’s going on here,” Roger says as he rests his elbows on his knees, “and how long it’s been going on too.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Evie hisses.
“You know what it means.” Janine wraps thick strands of her hair around her finger like she’s getting ready to tug it out to relieve some of the stress. “I know my daughter’s handwriting. She started writing that when she was eight, nine…”
“Mom, I was twelve or thirteen, and you don’t have to talk about me like I’m not here.”
For a moment, Janine smirks. “Stop the sass.”
“Says you.”
“I had no clue about the crush,” I say, struggling to keep the anger out of my voice.
The implication makes me sick.
“She was just your daughter, Roger. Of course, I felt some warmth toward her, like I would for any friend’s daughter, but honestly, I never thought about her. When I spent those years away, I didn’t miss her. She was… just another person.”
Everybody has gone quiet. Roger looks at me with the close attention I recognize from the few times I’ve talked about my tours.
“But that changed when I moved back to the city,” I go on. “I saw her… and I knew. It was like being struck by lightning. I’d apologize for being cheesy, but honestly, I don’t know how else to describe it. It was like fate. It was like everything just clicked into place. I didn’t have to doubt anymore.”
“Doubt what?” Roger asks.
“If I would ever find a woman to start a family with—a soulmate like you’ve got Janine. I’m not saying I thought this all through. It’s just how I felt, and I couldn’t—can’t—fight it.”
“Have you even tried?” Janine says.
“Y—”
I stop myself before I lie and then really think about it. Evie is watching me, though I don’t turn to look at her. I can feel her eyes staring, willing me to say something to make this all okay, but there’s been enough lying. When I saw Evie, how hard did I really try to stop myself from claiming her? When the obsession began, it was instant, like lightning striking me so violently she was all I could think about.
“Not as hard as I could have,” I tell them. “The idea of fighting it, hell, it seemed impossible. It was instant, this feeling. Like nothing I’ve ever experienced before.”
“How did you react when she told you about the crush?” Janine presses.
“It freaked him out, Mom,” Evie cuts in. “I had to convince him it didn’t have to come between us.”
“Oh, it doesn’t,” Janine says sarcastically. “That’s good to know.”
“Freaked out,” Roger repeats, nodding slowly, “but not enough to stop it, Brian?”
He’s looking at me with glistening eyes, an expression that throws me back through so many years. I never once thought about what it would be like to have Roger hate me and never had a reason to assume it could happen, but as he works his mouth from side to side—I think he’s grinding his teeth—I get the sensation now. Roger is the closest thing I have to a brother, and it hurts badly.
“Well?” he snaps.
“No,” I tell him. “She told me she’s mature enough to make her own decisions, and I believe her, but this isn’t what you think.”
“So you can read our minds now,” Janine snaps.
“What you might think, then,” I go on. “This isn’t… just physical. This is real. We’re going to be together forever.”
Calm down, but the storm is raging. It’s like the hunger inside me detects there’s a chance this will all end, so it’s flooding my system with adrenaline and fury, preparing me for a fight.
“I’m going to marry Evie,” I go on. I’m so lost in the emotion that I don’t notice their faces or reactions. “We’re going to have children together. That’s the most important part of this. We’re going to be together, really be together. I’m going to protect her, support her, and help her always. Always.”
On the last word, I stand abruptly, turning my back, striding to the window. My breath comes in big, trembling gasps. I’d say I don’t know where that came from, but I do. It’s Evie—her kissable lips and her cute braid, her sassiness and her nerves and her kindness and her curves. It’s everything about her, each little piece that makes Evie mine.
“Mom,” Evie says from behind me, her voice cracking with tears.
I don’t have it in me to turn around. If I keep staring out the window, I can pretend I didn’t just ruin this, even if I know I did. I went too far.
CHAPTER
TWENTY-TWO
Evie
Mom glares at the back of Brian’s back. She’s digging her fingernails into her leg, and I can tell she could yell at and hit him any second. Dad has a shell-shocked expression, like he can’t believe how much passion Brian unleashed.
