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“Don’t. Not now, Lavinia,” I say through gritted teeth. She doesn’t say anything else. I take her around the back of the church. I unlock the back door and lead her into the dark room. I flip on the light and continue into my office. My desk lamp creates an eerie glow in the room, but I make no moves to change that.
“Oh, my God. Are you going to kill me?” she asks, sounding scared, which jars me a bit. I stop walking and look over at her.
“What? No. Why would you think that?” I ask as she wrenches her hand from mine and crosses her arms over her chest. All that succeeds in doing is pushing her tits even higher so that they spill out of her dress even more than they did before. God, she looks beautiful in that dress. It hugs her body in all the right places, and her cleavage is to die for. My mouth is watering, and my cock is digging into my zipper, begging to be let out.
“Maybe because you beat the crap out of your friend. For no reason.”
“Oh, there’s a reason. He wants you. Are you fucking him, Lavinia?”
“No, I am not fucking him. We’re just friends. He doesn’t want me, Alton. Nobody does. Why do you even care?” My prim and proper wife saying the word fucking drives me insane.
“That’s just not true, Lavinia. Plenty of men want you.”
“Do they?” she asks incredulously.
“Yeah, they do, and I know they do because I’m one of them.” Her eyes widen, and her mouth opens and closes rapidly before she figures out what to say.
“What? Since when?”
“Since the day I met you,” I tell her. She laughs… for a long time; she just laughs and laughs. I clear my throat, and she finally stops.
“No you didn’t, Alton. I heard you. I heard you,” she says, her voice cracking.
“Heard me what?” I ask, and she lets out an exasperated sigh.
“I heard you on our wedding day telling Jasper that you didn’t find me attractive and that you’d never find me attractive. I believe you used the phrase “so big” to describe me. Nothing has changed in that department, so why are you lying to me now? What could you possibly gain from this? Is this some sort of cruel joke? I’ve been the butt of them my whole life. Not from my sisters, but I’ve heard it all. My parents told me I was a glutton at every opportunity. The boys, even the men back home let me know that I was always going to be alone. No one was ever going to marry Lumbering Lavinia. Your mother even calls me names. I was a spinster before I was ten years old. You’re not going to break me. I am not going to beg you to like me, no matter what bullshit files out of your mouth.” Fuck! Of course, she heard me say that, and I hate myself for adding to her heartache. Jasper was right. I needed to grow up, but I only did that because of her. I desperately want to pull her into my arms and tell her that she’s perfect, but she’ll never believe me. I can’t believe people were so cruel to her. I was cruel to her.
“That was before I knew you. I was a total asshole that day. I don’t even know why I said it. I… felt like I had to or something. I can’t explain it. I’m sorry that I said it, and I’m sorry you heard that. You didn’t deserve that.”
“Try to explain it,” she says, ignoring my apology.
“You’ve met my mother,” I say, offering some semblance of an explanation.
“Yeah. She’s the worst, but that doesn’t tell me anything.” I’m going to have to tell her what growing up with a narcissistic beauty queen is like. I don’t want to relive it, but for her, I will.
“You know what she’s like. She was worse when I was younger if you can believe that. Living the high life has mellowed her out some.”
“That’s mellow?” she asks.
“Trust me when I say as a child and well into my teens, she drilled into my head what my ideal woman should look and act like. Then you sweep into my life and shatter whatever brainwashed bullshit that was. I am ashamed to admit that I was thoroughly confused. I should have done a lot of things differently. I should have been the man you needed me to be. I should have done right by you, but I’m going to do it now. You changed me, Lavinia.”
“No one changes that quickly,” she says softly.
“I did. I know you went to a lawyer today. I know you want to leave me, but I don’t want you to leave me, Lavinia,” I say, reaching for her.
