Page 19 of Alton & Lavinia


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I don’t know where I am going to go. I can’t go to any of my sisters because I don’t want them to know about this and won’t go home. His mother drives me crazy. I start walking toward the saloon. It’s dark now, so the square is lit up, and the music is still blaring. I’m in no mood for the festivities, though. Lloyd had mentioned that the owner keeps a couple of rooms up there for the occasional tourist, but more often than not, it’s used by someone too drunk to drive home.

Before I can get across the street, someone stops me.

“Lavinia?”

“Hey, Carter,” I say, sniffling. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Fletcher set my nose for me. Are you crying?”

“No,” I lie.

“Liar. What did that asshole do? I’ll kill him.”

“He didn’t do anything.”

“Then why are you roaming around all alone, crying?” Carter really is just a friend. He had a little crush on me, but I didn’t reciprocate. That was before Alton. We became friends instead. We’re better as friends. I’ve even told him what Alton said the day we got married. I couldn’t keep it inside.

“I may have overreacted.”

“You? No way,” he says, chuckling.

“Go back and fix it then.”

“No..” I’m upset that he used me like that. Even if he didn’t, why would he joke about it? It was not funny.

“Good. Let him mull it over. Wonder what you’re doing and who you’re doing it with. He’ll come around. Good old-fashioned jealousy will do that to a man,” he says, making me laugh.

“I don’t want to make him jealous; I just want him to love me just as much as I love him.”

“I wondered when you were going to admit that.”

“What do you mean?”

“We’ve known each other for a few months now, Vinny. Ever since you got married, every other word out of your mouth is Alton this and Alton that. You’re in love, plain and simple. It’s a wonder he doesn’t know it.”

“Oh, God?” I groan. “What am I going to do?”

“You won’t have to do anything; trust me on that.”

“What do you mean?”

“Your husband kicked my ass because he thought I was fucking you. He probably would have kicked my ass just for breathing the same air you do.”

“He knows for sure now that wasn’t happening,” I say, feeling my cheeks heat at the thought of him inside me again.

“Ugh, I don’t want to know about that. We’re friends and all, but no thanks. As I was saying, the preacher of the only church in town handed me my ass in front of the entire town. Throwing one of the Commandants at me as he did. Who does that, you ask? The man is in love, even if he doesn’t realize it yet. You don’t blow up, in public, like that for anything less than love.”

“You think?” I ask, beginning to feel a glimmer of hope.

“Yeah. I’d say come home with me for the night and cool your heels, but I’d be dead by morning if I did that. Let me talk to Toby. I’ll get you a room above the saloon.”

“Thanks, Carter.”

Ten minutes later, I’m tucked in a bed, alone. I’m sore in places I’ve never been sore before. I should shower but like the glutton I am, I don’t want to wash the scent of him or his seed off of me. Not for the first time, I dream of my husband. Only this time, I know exactly what it feels like with him inside of me…

One Week Later

“Thank you for bringing me some clothes,” I tell Kelly as she breezes past me into the room I’ve been staying in all week. I needed an outfit for tonight, but to be fair, she’s been bringing me clothes all week. I also missed church for the first time in my entire life, and I hated it. I don’t really want to go to this girl's night out thing, but my sisters were so excited about it.

I haven’t seen him all week, and that’s been hard. He hasn’t sought me out, either. The more I think about it, the more I think I acted like a child. I also might be losing my mind. Every morning since I’ve been here, I’ve smelled his cologne the moment I wake up. As if it lingers in the room, but that can’t be. Can it?

“No problem, but you really should come home. Alton is miserable without you there. He’s all mopey and forlorn. It’s disgusting.”

“I doubt that, Kelly. Are you staying for girl's night? It’s nonalcoholic.”

“I might. I’ve got a letter to write, but other than that, I’m free.”

“Don’t feel like you have to just because I asked.”

“We’re friends, Vinny. I want to hang out with you. I love you.”

“Awe, Kelly. I love you too, girl. You’re the best sister-in-law a girl could ask for.”

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