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It fed me.
Pleased me.
I hacked off another.
His howl became wet, wracking sobs, and I relished them.
I dragged the knife to his streaming eyes, piercing his cheekbone with a wrathful detachment that made my heart barely beat and my humanity drown beneath the devil freed inside me. “You don’t deserve to look at her, you fuck.” Angling the tip, I went to scoop out his eyeball, but then...I stopped.
Ethan gagged and groaned, choking on his tears. “Please. Please, don’t! Please!”
Dragging the knife down his throat, his chest, and his heaving belly, I stopped above his jeans-clad cock. With a flick of the blade, I popped his button, yanked down his zipper, and inserted the pointy end directly over him.
“You can keep your eyes while I cut this off.”
“No! Fuck, no. Don’t—”
I pressed down on the blade over the soft meaty part of him that’d done something so un-fucking-forgivable.
He screamed.
I smiled.
I went to impale the knife, to castrate and mutilate—
“Aslan...stop.” Neri’s hands landed on my shoulders, tugging feebly.
I could ignore her.
She had no strength to pull me off.
It would be so easy to slice Ethan’s cock from stem to root and tear off his balls, one by one. Only once he was neutered would I drag the blade from navel to nose, revealing the rottenness inside him. His insides would spill out. He’d be reduced to a pile of meat. A pile of stinking, bloody meat for the sharks below to dine on.
The darkness sank over my vision again.
I pressed a little harder.
Neri fell on top of Ethan, shoving her face into mine. Her hands captured my cheeks and her flawless skin smeared with Ethan’s blood. Her breath came fast as her eyes locked with mine, and she whispered, “Enough. Enough, Aslan. I don’t want you to kill him. I changed my mind.”
“What?” I hissed. “But. He. Hurt. You.”
“And you hurt him.”
“Not nearly enough.”
“It is enough.” She ran her fingers through my hair, making me jerk. “We’re even. You’ve delivered enough revenge. I’m okay, Aslan. I’m okay with this. I can’t ask you to kill him. I don’t want you to live with that.”
“You’re not asking me.” I pressed a little harder on the knife.
Ethan’s legs spasmed, and he sobbed like a child. He tried to wriggle away from my impalement, but with Neri’s weight on top of him and the wounds I’d already given, he barely clung to consciousness.
“I’ll happily do it. I want to do it.” My stare dropped to her mouth. “I’d kill him a thousand times if it would take away what he did to you.”
She smiled sadly. “And that’s enough for me. That’s more than enough. To know you care that much. To know how far you’d go.”
“I’d go to the depths of hell for you.”
“Don’t kill him,” she breathed. “I made a mistake asking you to. And I’m asking you now...please. Don’t kill him.” She pushed me back, firmly, resolutely.
My rage faded a little, leaving me jittery and confused.
Sitting on my ass, I brought my knees up and fingered the knife. The hilt was heavy teak with brass detailing down the sides. I’d seen Jack rinse it every time he used it in the sea so the saltwater wouldn’t eat its way through metal and wood.
It gleamed with crimson and moonlight, angry at being denied.
It needed blood.
It wanted to taste every drop of Ethan’s contaminated blood.
Shaking my head, I refocused.
He has to die...
Neri kneeled before me.
Ethan lay on his side, barely breathing.
His nose looked broken.
He moaned with every breath as if his ribs were cracked.
Two fingers were missing, pumping blood as quickly as the spear hole in his leg.
He didn’t look like a monster anymore. He looked chewed up and spat back out by an even bigger one.
I shivered as humanity slithered back through me.
I’d done that.
I would flay him bone by bone if Neri asked me to.
I would do whatever it took to take away what she endured.
I’d kill fucking everyone.
The knife suddenly fell from my icy fingers, clattering against the deck.
I’m worse than him...
Trembles caught me unaware.
I’m my father’s son...
Neri crawled into me, laying her hands on my quaking knees. “I don’t want you to kill him.”
Shoving away the nightmares swirling inside me, I glared at her. “But why? After what he did to you. He deserves—”
“He deserves to live with what he did.”
“But what if he does it to others?”
“He won’t. Not after this.”
“But how do you know?” I balled my hands. “I couldn’t survive if he hurt another girl like you. I wouldn’t forgive myself if I could’ve prevented her pain and her family’s agony at letting it happen.”
“You didn’t let this happen. It was just...bad luck.”
“Bad luck?” I snarled. “It was my fault you went looking for Zara in the first place. I should never have said what I did. I should never have made you doubt how much I feel for you.” My stomach cramped, and hot tears burned my eyes. “Fuck, I should never have yelled at you thinking you were drunk. I should’ve known. I should’ve felt you...” I groaned and buried my head in my bloody hands. “I did feel you. Fuck, I felt you so strongly, Neri. I knew something was wrong, but I didn’t listen until it was too late. If I had come for you just a little sooner—”
