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“Violent?” I muttered.
“Yes.”
“I know I already asked, but...did I scare you?”
“Scare me?” She jerked back. “Why would that scare me?”
“Because of how much I wanted to kill him. How much I enjoyed it.”
“I only saw my soulmate avenging me.” She ducked her chin, drawing circles on the water’s surface with her fingertips. “Watching you attack him gave me power. Power in the way you defended me. I wasn’t afraid. I’ll never be afraid of you.”
“You might not say that once you know who I truly am.”
She stilled, her hands sinking into the black sea. “Then tell me. Tell me who you truly are.”
I gulped.
I thought I wanted to do this. To cure myself of my debilitating fear that the day Neri found out about me, she’d run and never look back. But...words lodged like rocks in my throat, and I couldn’t speak.
Her hands went to the ruby strings around her neck. With a single tug, she undid the bow; the bikini fell away from her breasts.
I braced myself for more bruises.
I forced myself to stay standing and not go feral with despair at failing her.
But her perfect, pale skin glowed in the moonlight. No other marks. No other evidence of what he’d done. Reaching to her back, she undid the final bow and balled up the wet bikini and tossed it to the shore. It splattered on the sand. Without looking away from me, she undid the bows on her hips and tossed away the second and final piece.
I couldn’t see below the waterline, but I could see her breasts. See the way her nipples pebbled, and her skin puckered with goosebumps. My cock crawled up my stomach, escaping my boxers again and throbbing painfully. “Are you sure?” I balled my hands. “Are you truly sure you want me...after what you’ve gone through?”
“It’s because of what he did that I need you to do this. I need you to replace him. I want to only think of you. I need you to turn the worst night of my life into the best, Aslan.”
Her words struck me.
Profoundly.
Deeply.
The night seemed heavier, holier.
I suddenly felt the presence of those I’d lost and all the years that’d been stolen from them. A clawing, slicing pain rose from my belly and centred in my heart. I gasped under the onslaught. I trembled as the sensation of them standing behind me made my nape prickle and instincts hiss to turn around.
I finally understood what Neri had been saying.
How this ocean was now my sanctuary.
A place of serenity and sanctity. Where I could whisper to my dead family, and they would hear me. They were a part of the sea now. They existed in every droplet of salt and in every flick of a fish’s tail.
They were dead, but standing there in the moonlight, they were not gone.
Tears burned my eyes as I silently spoke to my father and mother for the first time since that awful night. The worst night of my life. Benim yüzümden burada olamadiginiz için üzgünüm. (I’m sorry you’re not here because of me).
A low groan escaped me as I closed my eyes and drowned beneath everything I’d bottled up for five years. Keske sizin yerinize ben ölebilseydim. Keske kader, sizin yerinize beni seçmeseydi. Keske hayatta olup bu kizla tanisabilseydiniz. Bana yeniden yasamayi ögreten bu inanilmaz kizla. (I wish I could’ve died in your place. I wish fate hadn’t chosen me over you. I wish you were alive to meet this girl. This incredible girl who taught me how to live again).
I swear the ocean swirled warmer around my feet. The stars sparkled a little brighter. And I drifted forward, drawn by forces I couldn’t control, guided by fate as I cupped Neri’s cheek in my ocean-wet hand and pressed my forehead to hers. “You turned the worst night of my life into the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I’d be honoured to do the same for you, hayatim.”
Kissing her gently, I murmured, “But first, I’m going to tell you what you need to know so I can rinse myself free from this darkness. And while I talk, I want you to wash. Use the ocean you love so much to scrub away what he did to you. Pretend this is a new beginning, for both of us. No more hiding. No more secrets. Tonight is the first night of all our nights.”
She shivered as if she felt the same magic in the air, the same power and connection of life and death, beast and mortal.
Her eyes shimmered with moonglow-blue. “You...you literally just used the same words I thought before.”
“I did?”
“When I cut the engine, my head was full of thoughts. Of decisions and dreams and—”
“Like what?” I whispered.
“I’ll be your first, Aslan.” Her hand cupped my cheek, mirroring me. “And you...you will be my last.”
