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Her eyebrows vanished into her hairline as she blinked like a sweet little virgin instead of the dirty temptress she was. “You have no idea what I read.”
“Oh, I don’t, do I?” I nuzzled my nose with hers. “How about the one with the dragon shifter and the joining knot? His mate can’t get away as he—”
“Oh my God. How do you know about that?”
“I’m on the same account as you. Anna gave me her old e-reader when she upgraded, remember? I get to share your library and read all about French men stringing up Australian girls, using toys and whips and—”
“Oh God, stop.” She laughed.
“See where I’m going with this?”
Her cheeks blazed bright red. “You think I’m—”
“Hot for domination?”
She groaned and buried her face into my neck. “You said it, not me.”
“Your body’s been telling me ever since I first kissed you.” I stiffened inside her, my blood thickening, my desire swelling. “Why do you think I can barely control myself around you? You smile at me all sweetly. You let me finger you against my door and kiss me with your innocent tongue, but then you go to bed and read some deliciously filthy stuff.”
“We could...enact some of that filth if you want.”
“Fuck, don’t tempt me.” I hardened, stretching her all over again, highly aware we hadn’t disengaged, just like we hadn’t last night—almost as if the thought of being apart was too painful to contemplate.
We were human. We had no magic or primitive mating rituals like in Neri’s books. Yet...our hearts had provided a joining tie. A knot that couldn’t be undone because it would be far too painful to survive without it.
Words faded, and she snuggled deeper into my arms.
Primordial urges sang down my spine to thrust again, but the aching tenderness of the moment made me roll onto my side and drag her with me.
Her leg hooked over my hip, keeping us as one.
Inside one another.
Our eyes locked.
Our lips sought the softest kiss.
And I couldn’t help fearing I’d done something wrong. That I shouldn’t have touched her the way I did. Shouldn’t have fucked her so roughly. Especially after...
“Iyi misin, karicigim?”
She shivered and kissed me again. “I will never tire of hearing you call me your wife. And yes, I’m fine.” Her eyes burned like glaciers into mine. “Truly.”
“What I did...the force I used, it didn’t...trigger anything?”
A shadow swirled over her face, but she held my stare. “I promise you, Aslan. While I’m in your arms, nothing else exists. Your need for me keeps me entirely present. When you’re like this...deep inside me, I’m nowhere else. I’m wholeheartedly yours.”
My heart swelled. “And you’ll let me help if that ever stops being true.”
“Always.” Slinging her arms over my shoulders, she hugged me tight. “As long as you keep ‘helping’ me in that way, I have no doubt I’ll be cured. Just...don’t hold yourself back from me. You’ve always restrained yourself. I feel it every time you kiss me. Just give me everything, and I swear to you...I’ll be okay.”
I really should’ve listened harder.
I should’ve heard what she didn’t say.
Neri had survived one of the worst things a girl could endure.
She wore her bravery to shield her.
She used my love to heal her.
Yet no matter how much I loved her or how fiercely I gave her what she needed...she’d become like me.
Trapped by a past she didn’t want to confront.
Preferring to ignore it, hide from it, pretending life could be normal, all while it festered and bled in the dark.
Chapter Forty-Nine
*
Nerida
*
(Sea in Croatian: More)
“DID HE SURVIVE?”
I blinked, confused all over again as the past swirled with marine colours, popping painfully into memories. “Pardon?” I rubbed my temples, cursing the faint headache that’d appeared. A headache I was familiar with. I’d been afflicted with them ever since I was twenty. Brought about by the worst moment of my life. A moment far, far worse than the rape. So, so much worse.
I would’ve happily spread my legs for Ethan every night if I didn’t have to endure what came next. What came next for Aslan...
My heart wrenched in my chest, my emotions too sharp and vicious. I didn’t want to tell the reporters what happened at Christmas. I didn’t want to tell them what happened after or about the day when my parents feared I would die from a broken, haemorrhaging heart.
I didn’t want to relive it because I’d barely survived it the first time.
“Nerida?” Dylan asked gently, leaning over and touching my knee. “Are you well? Do you want to stop? We can come back tomorrow if you wish.”
I patted the back of his hand and forced a smile. “No, no. I’m fine. I know it’s getting late, but...I’d rather tell you everything today if that’s okay.”
“It’s no bother to come back tomorrow.” Margot smiled, the sun starting its lazy descent toward the horizon. I’d been talking for hours. Lingering on the good, hiding from the shadows that hunted me.
