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After Neri gave me the books and phone the other night, I’d been in the worst fucking state of my life. The way she’d looked at me? The way her gaze locked between my legs and shot heated agony directly into my cock...

I’d fallen back on my bed and fought the urge for as long as I could.

But my heart had smoked, and my blood had boiled, and I’d had no choice but to yank my boxers down, swallow my thick shame, and fist myself in the dark.

I’d come from the memory of the way she’d studied me. The way she’d crashed into my door in her rush to get away from the agonising desperation between us.

It was wrong to think of Neri while touching myself, I knew that. It only kept me trapped in a situation that had no happy ending. But...I’d given up trying to picture anyone else the day she turned sixteen. I tried to console myself with a lie that Neri was literally the only girl I knew. Of course, she would be the most vibrant in my head. Of course, she would crowd my thoughts and make every day a thirsty misery.

But if I was stronger and a better man, I’d jerk off to pictures of Rita or Molly or the many girls parading downtown in their skimpy shorts and bikinis.

Not her.

It should never be Neri who I dreamed of.

Never Neri who I begged for as my cum coated my palm.

It could be literally anyone else.

Yet I was fucked because all my heart, my soul, and my body wanted...was her.

Fucking hell, I need help.

I needed to get over this infatuation so I didn’t end up killing myself.

Because that would happen if I gave in.

If I made a mistake and actually thought I could have her, Jack and Anna would kick me out, I’d end up homeless, jobless, penniless, and be found by a heartless bureaucrat only to be shipped back to Turkey where a hoard of bloodthirsty bastards just waited for me to step foot on home soil. They’d take my blood, my bones, and my begs. Ripping all three out of me before they finally mutilated me so much, I was useless.

So yeah, even though every piece of me wanted to say fuck it and claim Neri as mine. To sneak behind Jack’s back and defile his daughter, I didn’t want to die.

Those days of wishing for death were over.

I liked this life, regardless of its restrictions.

And I liked being alive for her.

Even if it meant I would spend the rest of my days working on an ocean I despised and eventually have to watch Neri meet someone, fall in love, and move away to start her own family.

I pinched the bridge of my nose and sucked in a breath.

You need to do something soon. Otherwise, you’re going to snap.

Paying heed to my own counsel, I dropped my hand and messaged Neri back.

Me: Don’t do anything stupid, dangerous, or illegal, Nerida. Your parents aren’t there to save you.

Her reply was quick.

Neri: Why the sudden mood change?

Me: Long day, that’s all.

Neri: What are the plans tonight?

Me: Your dad wants ribs. We’re heading into Airlie Beach for dinner.

Her reply wasn’t as quick this time and when it finally did arrive, her tone had changed.

Despair sank like a rock in my belly.

Neri: Airlie Beach is full of transient travellers. Who knows? You might find a fellow countryman...or woman. Enjoy your dinner, Aslan.

I didn’t message her back.

Chapter Twenty-Five

*

Aslan

*

(Moon in Italian: Luna)

TEN FUCKING THIRTY P.M., AND NERI’s LOCATION still showed her in some bar in Port Douglas.

What the fuck is she doing?

How could she lie to Jack when he called her after dinner, saying she was at home, doing a sketch of the latest whale calf, when she was definitely not at home and definitely not doing something as innocent as drawing.

“All done here?”

My head snapped up, and I shut off my phone screen.

The pretty waitress that’d served us all night gave me a wide smile. A smile that tipped upward with invitation and interest. A smile that said she liked the look of me and wasn’t afraid to show it.

“I’m good. Jack? Anna?” I cocked my chin at the two giggling marine biologists. Considering they had a sixteen-year-old daughter at home, they’d flirted and drank as if they were newlyweds.

My temper soothed a little watching them. Watching their ease. Their love. Their desire.

My own parents came to mind again and the happy relationship they’d shared.

Nothing like these two, though. My father and mother were more reserved in their love. Meanwhile, Jack and Anna’s had caught fire thanks to decadent food and a substantial amount of alcohol.

“Nah, think we’ll get the check, please,” Jack said, winking at the waitress as he brought Anna’s knuckles to his mouth and kissed her.

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